


a drabble a day

by ActuallyRandomPerson



Series: things that spawn from the drabbles [1]
Category: Supernatural, in theory at least - Fandom, more to be added - Fandom
Genre: AU, Ace Cas, Angst, Arranged Marriage, Baby Jack Kline, Bi Dean, Bickering, Coming Out, Cooking, Dean Winchester's Birthday, Destiel Wedding, Drabble Collection, Epistolary, Flirting, Fluff, Honeymoon, I like to think these improve as they go along, Introspection, John Winchester's A+ Parenting, Kinda, Kissing, Kittens, Multi, Sleep, Soulmate AU, Teacher!Dean, and some of these are Bad, but written by someone whose never flirted b4 in their life, i use the word drabble very loosely all of these are technically too long to be drabbles, if i continue them i'll give them their own space to shine, just a warning, look the writing braincell doesn't visit me every day ok, no beta we die like sleep deprived humans, not in detail as idk how tf but i figure i should probably tag for that, proposal, resurrectionist!dean, sneaking away from bachelor parties, some of these are definitely long enough that I should be posting them on their own but oh well, tags will change, the honeymoon drabbles span several chapters lol, trans!Dean, we love to see it, when I started I’d watched barely any spn dhcjsj
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-01-01
Updated: 2021-03-10
Packaged: 2021-03-10 22:40:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 69
Words: 23,293
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28474809
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ActuallyRandomPerson/pseuds/ActuallyRandomPerson
Summary: I decided my new years resolution was to write at least 100 words a day, and I'm posting it here so that I keep myself on track. Will be for whatever fandom I'm vibing with at any given moment, so I can't guarantee that all of these will be for supernatural (it's seeming like a definite possibility thus far though lmaooo)
Relationships: Castiel/Dean Winchester, Dean Winchester & Sam Winchester
Series: things that spawn from the drabbles [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2117403
Comments: 26
Kudos: 39





	1. Supernatural, Dean Winchester

**Author's Note:**

> I expect that I'll update the tags each day but I don't want them to be a complete mess, so I'll mostly tag recurring themes across the drabbles lol. All will be pretty much unedited. I'll title the chaps after the fandom, chars, and ships :). I may continue the drabbles that just like,,, cut off because my brain wasn't vibing with writing more that day in future chaps, I might not.  
> For any drabbles that end up being parts of a larger work, I'll add a link to said work in the end notes and the attached series, because I don't want _everything_ I write this year to be for a goddamn drabble comp cfsndmc

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> dean is like hmst im bi but my dad sucks. mainly musing about elephants in the room. don't question me im babey and tired

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This first one is likely a fuckin m e s s as I'm. v tired right now. I was in a voice call with international friends for a While and although I love them it was fairly draining, so I wrote this with brain fog well and truly settling over my mind dslfkjscead  
> i have watched. like 10 eps of spn. like I've read a lotta fic these past few days, but still. 10 eps. don't judge me for this.

Dean Winchester was not repressed.

Not _really_.

Repressed implied a lack of awareness about what you were pushing down, that you’d thrown a sheet over the elephant in the room with your eyes screwed tightly shut before proceeding to ignore its presence, not willing to even _think_ of acknowledging its specific shape and colour.

Dean knew _exactly_ what his specific elephant looked like. He’d known long before he had thrown his sheet over, had even been _okay_ with it. Okay with it, right up until the moment his father realised, until the moment he felt the ever-tight grip of his John Winchester's right hand burning on his shoulder as the left handed him the sheet and his eyes met a steely glare daring him to challenge the unspoken order and find out exactly what would happen.

So, no, Dean didn't tend to think of himself as _repressed_. He was just shoved so far deep in the closet that he may as well be in fucking Narnia.


	2. Supernatural, Destiel

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cas muses on sleep

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so reminder. I’ve watched like 19 episodes of this show. none of them include castiel yet. fully basing this characterisation off fics I’ve read because its like,, my only point of reference for him lol. excuse the fact that this is probably horribly ooc  
> set in some handwavey au where cas goes human and him and dean are happily in love. I’d be more specific but again. 19 eps in. just use your ~imagination~

Sometimes, Cas missed the days he didn’t need sleep.

Not always. Not enough to regret the choices he’d made, the ones that lead to him ultimately giving up the last of his grace and embracing humanity, for all its inherent flaws and weaknesses.

Just _sometimes_.

He missed the nights where he could sit by his hunter's side, guarding him till morning, ensuring no harm would come to either him or his brother.

He missed being able to revel in the peace Dean exuded when he was at rest, something he rarely got to experience or cherish while awake.

And he missed the fondness in Dean’s eyes as the hunter protested that it was ‘frickin creepy man, you’re acting like Edward or whatever that sparkly fuck from Twilights name is, just let me sleep in peace.’

But other times, when he felt himself slipping into the now-familiar darkness brought on by sleep, surrounded by the warmth of the duvet and Dean’s embrace, he knew that he’d traded the sleepless nights for something much, _much_ better.


	3. Supernatural, Destiel

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> dialogue only. cas finds a box of kittens and dean is Not Impressed

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this is terrible but at least its not cars fanfic. It was almost cars fanfic. Blame my online friends for that fact.  
> The hardest part of hyperfixating on a show with 15 seasons and deciding to watch it from the start with ur mum is being terrified about characterisation and also not knowing whats fanon and whats canon. This is all dialogue because my brain was like w o r d s. also I wrote this while cuddling my cat, unsurprisingly

“Cas?”

“Yeah?”

“…Why is there a box of kittens on the back seat of Baby?”

“…”

“Cas, you remember how allergies work, right? Like, the thing where cat fur makes me sneezy and miserable to be around?”

“I found them on the side of the road.”

“And you couldn’t take them to a shelter?”

“The nearest shelter had far too many animals, I didn’t want to overload them with more by giving them a litter of kittens when the animals they have are already going unadopted.”

“Cas, they’re _kittens_. Everyone loves kittens!! They’d be adopted in no time.”

“But what if the family that ends up adopting one of them would’ve otherwise gotten an older cat, one that’s lived at the shelter far longer?”

“If they’re looking for a kitten and don’t find one at the first shelter they visit, they’ll go to more. Kittens aren’t exactly in short supply.”

“But then surely there are too many kittens for the number of people looking to adopt one, and some of these kittens would’ve missed out on being adopted?”

“…”

“Also, just before I left them outside the shelter door, one of them looked up at me and meowed. It was… disarmingly adorable.”

“Oh my _god,_ Cas—”

“I named them Snowflake. Partially because they’re white and partially because they had a snowflake on their nose when I found them.”

“We’re _never_ going to be able to get rid of them, are we. You’ll look at me sadly whenever I suggest we adopt one out to people we meet on hunts and I’ll give in every goddamn time.”

“I know that having 5 cats isn’t exactly sustainable, Dean, we can adopt _some_ of them out. But keeping _one_ around could be. Nice.”

"Mew?"

“…I’ll invest in some allergy meds.”


	4. Supernatural, Dean (destiel mentioned/implied but not the focus)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> the aftereffects of john winchester's a+ parenting

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i hold 0 love in my heart for john winchester. also I'm only 5 eps into season 2 so im using a lot of second-hand knowledge of the guy from fics and online friends to write this. i tried to write a non-spn one today because I'm still too early in to have good solid writing ideas but this ended up being written instead 🤷

It took Dean a while to truly realise the damage John Winchester had had on his whole mental… situation.

Hell, some parts of him _still_ couldn’t fully blame the man for his actions. Dean didn’t think _anyone_ could be expected to parent effectively after a demon pinned their wife on a ceiling to murder her in a fiery blaze.

But John still could’ve done _better._ Should have tried to, been slightly less focused on his revenge quest and more focused on making sure Dean didn’t have to shoplift just to keep his 11-year-old brother fed on a regular basis.

Shouldn’t have been so harsh on Dean every time he messed up as a child, to the point where even now, the thought of Sam getting so much as a papercut due to Dean’s mistakes seemed unforgivable.

Shouldn’t have taught Dean to repress his emotions at almost any cost, especially ones that he could be seen as ‘weak’ for.

And shouldn’t have made Dean feel like the only way to survive was to shove an entire half of his sexuality away from any potentially prying eyes, as if the worst crime he could possibly commit was falling in love with a guy.

He was still having a little trouble unlearning that one, unsurprisingly, but he would get there.

Eventually.

For Cas’ sake, if not his own.


	5. Supernatural, Destiel

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> proposal musings but no actual proposal because that would be too simple

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i just want dean to be happy and in love, goddammit

Dean wasn’t sure why he was so nervous.

Ok, that was a lie. He knew exactly-fuckin-why he was so nervous, and while he was pretty sure his worries were completely unfounded, he didn’t think anyone would begrudge him for having them.

Things had been planned out to a T, every possible interruption he could think of planned for, from traffic delays to an unexpected hunt, and Sammy had smiled at him encouragingly before heading to his room in the bunker to give Dean and Cas some privacy for the evening.

Sometimes Dean wonders what his past self would think about where he ended up. The him that had been so terrified Sam would leave him completely alone again, like their dad did, despite all the hunting they’d done since Jess’ death. The him that wasn’t yet ready to acknowledge what the fluttering he felt in his chest around certain other guys meant. The him that had no idea that in just a few short years, he’d meet and fall in love with an angel that literally dragged him out from the depths of hell, and all the chaos that followed.

It didn’t really matter what his past self would think, though. Current him was _happy_ , despite all the loss he’d faced in his life, and goddammit if he wasn’t gonna grip onto that happiness with all the force he could muster in order to keep it in the here and now, because he _fucking_ _deserved it._ He _deserved_ happiness, even with all the shit he’d done in the past. Cas had taught him that.

And as he shoved his hand in his pocket again, nervously checking for the familiar shape and weight of the ring box, Dean smiled.

He had a feeling Cas would be reminding him of exactly how happy they both deserved to be very, very soon.


	6. Supernatural, Destiel, Jack

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> we deserve baby jack content

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i don't even know if they read these (the only person I know for sure does is sky thanks sky ily sky) bUT troy deserves to have a little baby jack content. as a treat. this will probably turn into something longer eventually (or at least I'll write a full baby jack fic eventually even if it's not a continuation of This Specifically) however my mums work schedule means our spn marathon has slowed down slightly from the breakneck speed we entered it at and given I've committed to watching all 15 seasons of this hot garbage (I love it but why am I doing this to myself) I figure I should wait till I have like. Even the tiniest bit of actual, non-fanfic related context for everything I know happens in the show. also I'll be very busy staring pointedly at my mother every time dean is Obviously Bi bc she's not yet convinced. i have no clue what state cas was in re:being an angel (most of the canon plot based fics i've read are ~s5/s6 ok) when jack arrived so I've called him an angel in this even though that might not be canon accurate? don't question it i couldn't be bothered reading the wiki and also good omens has made me feel like everyone with an angel/former angel partner calls them angel as a pet name as well as that just being What They Are [ (see the 4k fic i wrote for good omens entirely because of this premise).](https://archiveofourown.org/works/20147656)  
> anyway this an is officially so long it could literally be its own drabble so onto what yall came here for

It was still dark out when Dean woke up.

That fact alone wasn’t exactly _unusual,_ per se. As a hunter, you got pretty used to waking up at the most random of times, and that was only compounded by the presence of a baby in your life.

What _was_ unusual was the fact that Dean wasn’t entirely sure why he’d woken up in the first place. He was in the bunker, not a motel, so the likelihood of an unexpected attack was as low as it really could be, considering everything. He hadn’t had a nightmare, hadn’t dreamt at all as far as he could remember, and there wasn’t the now-familiar wail of an awake and upset baby echoing through the bunker. Cas’s side of the bed was empty, but the angel kept odd enough hours that Dean doubted that that alone had been enough to rouse him, especially as it felt cold enough to signify that it had been a while since he’d gotten up.

With all the usual culprits ruled out, Dean sat up and swung his legs off the side of the bed, forcing himself out of the warm comfort the bed covers provided. He could hear the faint murmur of noise from across the hall, in Jack’s room, and he wouldn’t be surprised to find Cas had spent the last few hours in there, watching over Jack sleeping with the same intensity he used to reserve for Dean and Dean alone.

Dean didn’t exactly mind _sharing_ that intensity as much as he used to think he would. Things were different when the person you were sharing things like that with was your son in every way that mattered.

He padded out of the room quietly, leaning against the door frame as he observed his angel interact with Jack.

Cas had pulled him out of the crib, likely to forestall any cries he otherwise would have made upon waking. He had a bottle in one hand, and was cradling Jack with the other, looking down at him fondly as wide eyes blinked back up at him. Now that Dean was closer, he could identify the noise as Cas humming softly as Jack fed, and a soft grin spread across his face as he observed he quiet moment.

It only took a few seconds for Dean to cross the room and wrap a gentle arm around Cas’s middle, careful not to jostle Jack as he hooked his chin over the angel’s shoulder. Although he hated waking up in the middle of the night, he wouldn’t trade these quiet moments with his family for _anything._


	7. Supernatural, Destiel

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> non-sexual wing grooming ftw

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i just love how soft it can be ok  
> also i am once again asking you to use ur imagination and probably superior knowledge of the spn timeline to mentally place this fic wherever it makes sense timeline wise

Dean wasn’t quite sure what he expected to find in Cas’ room after the angel asked him to swing by, but it certainly wasn’t this.

The angel was sat awkwardly on the bed, normally hidden wings splayed out behind him, with a pile of dark feathers scattered across the ground. He had his back to the door, and despite being contorted in such a way that the top half of his body was almost facing Dean, it was clear that he had no idea that the hunter had arrived. Instead, all his attention was focused on doing _something_ to his wings.

“Uh, Cas? You okay?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [ so this is one of the ones where this is just a Snippet bc it ended up long (like its _unfinished_ that's how long he be) so just click these words to see chap one of the full version.](https://archiveofourown.org/works/28606197)


	8. Supernatural, Dean Winchester, Sam Winchester

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> trans dean au

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so I was planning on today’s drabble bein crack because I didn’t wanna post another wing fic segment but then my brain remembered trans!dean last night and I was like well fuck now I wanna write it  
> this is most definitely the most angsty of these I’ve written? like it's not the most angsty thing in the world but maybe skip this one if transphobia (esp from a parent) will be a bad vibe  
> im genderfluid so my lived experience is obviously different to that of an ftm trans person, but obvs I have all the love and respect in the world for y’all. also I went into this going ‘ok how could I see dean coming out to John go down’ then ‘and how can I make it still fit in canon’ because my brain has been blaring the goddamn ‘dads on a hunting trip’ quote constantly as it’s seemingly in Every Episode Recap for season 1 & 2\. This may one day be extended but idk lol  
> i did not intend for this to be dialogue only but then i only included one action line so I decided to remove it and make it a stylistic choice dhshdj

“Dad’s on a hunting trip, and he hasn’t been home for a few days”

“What are you— _Dad?_ Since when are you in contact with Dad?!”

“…”

“Oh Dean, tell me you didn’t—”

“What was I supposed to do, Sammy? He called me up after you left for college and fuckin guilt-tripped me into coming back to hunt with him whenever he needed a second pair of hands!”

“But— you got out! You got out before I did! Why would you—”

“Why would I go back to our transphobic asshole of a father? Why do you _think_ , Sammy? I thought— he said— he made me think he would remain open-minded enough that _one day_ I might have a parent who was proud of me, who accepted me for who I am. And then every time I tried to leave again after that, he managed to pull me back in with his bullshit about family and trust and obedience because despite everything I’ve done, everything I’ve worked to change in my life, some part of me is _always_ going to be that scared little girl who can’t man up enough to even suggest the possibility of getting a pixie cut to her father. And I _hate it_. But it’s true.”

“God, Dean, if I’d had any idea— if I’d even had an _inkling_ he’d try to pull you back in I never would’ve left without warning you. Even if only by telling you to change your number. I just thought after the way things went down when you ended up leaving—”

“Yeah. I did too.”


	9. Supernatural, Destiel

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> this is just fluff because i can't help myself

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> as sky put it yesterday, "dean and cas should have held hands and that’s all I have to say on that". he is absolutely right. It's What They Deserve. this was supposed to be more focused on the actual holding of hands but i got distracted dfslgjkad

The two of them, perhaps unsurprisingly, didn’t find themselves on dates that often.

Oh, sure, there are nights spent on the living room couch, cuddled together closely enough that Sammy will ignore the ever-present urge to annoy his brother in favour of leaving to any place where he isn’t a third wheel. And there are quiet mornings spent together, arms slung around waists while breakfast sizzles away in a pan, ignored in favour of the soft press of lips to skin.

But normal dates? Dinner-and-a-movie or picnics-in-the-park or really _any_ stereotypical date-like situation that isn’t somehow related to catching and killing the monster of the week? They just didn’t have the time for them, between all the world-saving and monster-hunting and apocalypse-averting they’d had to do.

Perhaps that’s why, when Sam had shoved them out of the bunker with the insistence that they ‘take some time off, seriously, you guys are so overworked it’s stressing _me_ out,’ Dean hadn’t protested as much as he probably should have. They might’ve stopped the world from ending multiple different ways now, but the work was never truly finished, and some small part of him would always rankle at the thought of leaving Sam in the bunker to research cases alone.

But as he walked through the gardens Cas had pulled them into, the familiar weight of the angel’s hand solid against his own, and admired the brightness of his partners face, he realised that in this moment, he truly had no cares in the world.


	10. Supernatural, Destiel

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> cas gets cold hands

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  _yes_ this is just another fic entirely created so they can hold hands. _yes_ this one is also inspired by a convo w sky because he saw a post about angelic body temp and i made a counteroffer then we were laughing about infinite hand warmers coming out of pockets. _no_ i will _not_ elaborate on that convo, just know it led to me big braining last night

“Cas?” Dean called, staring bewildered at the small packet in his hand. “What is this?”

The two of them were together in their current hotel room, getting ready for a morning intel meeting with Sam. The latest case wasn’t as catastrophic as some were, but they were looking to bust the spirit sooner rather than later.

“What is what?”

Rather than answering, Dean held the packet up for Cas’ perusal, and was somewhat surprised to find that the ex-angel’s face brightened in recognition.

“Oh! That’s one of my HotHands.”

That… didn’t really clear things up for Dean.

“Hot hands?”

“They’re a brand of hand warmers.”

“Wait— you use _hand warmers?!_ ”

Now Cas was wearing his ‘I’m confused about why you’re confused’ face, and Dean felt a little bad for putting it there.

“Since falling, I’ve found that my hands feel noticeably cold in un-ideal moments. So, I started buying hand warmers to counteract that issue. Is something… weird about that?”

Cas’ eyes really were impossibly wide and blue in moments like these, and Dean found himself scrambling to reassure the ex-angel that nothing was wrong.

“No! No— of _course_ not, Cas, that’s— that’s literally why they were designed. It’s just— Well— Aren’t they a bit _expensive_ after a while? Especially if you’re using them every day?”

“They’re certainly not the _cheapest_ solution for cold hands, I’ve just found them to be the most effective. I’d be concerned about the financial strain adding up over time if we were acquiring the money we spend through legal means, but as we are not currently working legal jobs, I thought it was a fine commodity to buy.”

“Hey! Credit card fraud ain’t easy, you know!” Dean winked, and dramatically swaggered across the room to meet Cas in the doorway. “That’s _my_ hard-earned cash you’re spending on warming up your hands each day, you could _at least_ show me a little appreciation for a job well done.”

Cas raised an eyebrow, a small smile gracing his lips.

“You want me to show thanks… for you stealing money?”

“ _Well,_ when you put it like _that_ it sounds ridiculous.”

Both their grin’s widened, and Dean tugged Cas in by the tie for a gentle kiss. They pulled apart a second later, but continued to stare lovingly in each other’s eyes for a few moments before Dean deemed it time to break the silence.

“Anyway, I have a solution that I think you will find is both much more effective than buying hand warmers. We can just hold hands! It’s free, and I run warm.”

Cas snorted, but linked his hand with Dean’s anyway.

“Won’t I still need to buy them? I have two hands, you know.”

“ _Yes_ , but you’ll go through them at half the speed you used to. And anyway,” With his next words, Dean leaned in to peck Cas again, not pulling away after. “I know _plenty_ of other ways to keep you warm.”

Needless to say, they were very, _very_ late to meeting Sam at the diner.


	11. Supernatural, Destiel (preslash)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> dean is sad bc him and cas aren't dating yet

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so this very almost didn't get written... I'm not even joking, i was reading a 100k fluff fic then sat up in a panick™ because it was 8:30 and i hadn't written yet. if i didn't have this fic i probably wouldn't have bothered, which is further proof that me forcibly giving myself an honesty system was a good idea. this is probably literal trash as a result.  
> thank god dodie exists because putting on her music is pretty much the only way to get me in a writing vibe when my brains bouncing around like a screensaver lol

Dean… didn’t exactly do commitment.

Oh, he’d tried to, before. That was undeniable. The time he spent with Cassie— _well_ , it wasn’t exactly every day that Dean went around spilling the family business to people that weren’t directly involved in a supernatural attack.

But with… well, _everything_ about his life _,_ one-or-two-night-stands were much easier for him to achieve. No strings, no feelings, just him and some hot chick (or, if he was feeling unusually secure in himself, guy) that he’d never have to see again.

It had been such a long time since he even _considered_ wanting anything more long term that he hadn’t actually noticed when he started wanting that again.

Somewhere along the way, he obviously had, though.

Not that he’d be likely to get it. Him and Cas— they… They didn’t, _wouldn’t_ do that. Even if he wished they did.


	12. Supernatural, Dean & Sam Winchester

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> coming out isn't always as scary as it seems

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ok so i am forever grateful to how fucking supportive my brother is and was of me when i accidentally came out/was sorta outed as genderfluid by my sister to my mum (but not intentionally! its a long and stressful story tho :/). It was,,, not a fun time for me, and although i imagine with time things will get easier, coming out before ur ready to is fucking hellish esp when it's not a 110% supportive environment (like my mum tries but she doesn't Get It and it's not something I can easily talk about with her because it takes a lotta emotional energy). Like seriously, he is the best brother I could've asked for and I'll forever be grateful to him and the work he's put into becoming a better ally over the years. In line with that + a convo i had on discord about how we all thought Sam would do his best to support Dean including w hiding it from John, this came to be :)  
> i may write more of teen sam helping dean hide his sexuality because i have not given sam enough love in these drabbles but i find it easiest to write for dean lol

For someone who’d been doing his best to hide his sexuality for well over a decade now, Dean found coming out surprisingly easy.

Sure, it wasn’t exactly an experience he’d love to repeat, especially not if that repetition involved all the nerves he’d experienced on his first go around, but it wasn’t as terrible as he’d imagined it might be. Bobby had just called him an ‘idjit’ for thinking that his sexuality might change Bobby’s opinion of him, and Sam… hadn’t actually been surprised at all.

“I’m so glad that you feel safe enough to finally share this with me, Dean.”

“Woah there, Sammy, who said anything about ‘finally’? How do you know this isn’t something I’ve just figured out about myself?”

“I’m not exactly _oblivious_ Dean, even though you sometimes seem to think I am. You watch _Dr. Sexy_! There aren’t that many straight reasons for watching that garbage!”

“Hey, the nurses are hot too! Dr Sexy might be the star of the show, but he’s not the only eye candy there. Maybe I watch it and imagine taking his place.”

“ _Do_ you watch it and imagine taking his place?”

“Well… not _exactly_ , but I’m sure some people do. And anyway, what if I’d been watching it without acknowledging why? Finding one dude hot doesn’t necessarily scream ‘bi’, you know.”

“Yeah, but in a few of the places we stayed while Dad was hunting, there were… _rumours.”_

Dean grimaced lightly.

“Ah, yeah, that’d do it.”

“Not that I _ever_ had an issue with it! I assumed you’d, well, tell me when you felt comfortable. And I’m glad you do now, although I wish it hadn’t taken so long.”

Dean’s mouth tightened further, and Sam sighed.

“I’m, uh, guessing Dad didn’t know?”

“I— yeah, no, he didn’t know. I think he might’ve suspected at points, based on some things he said, but as long as I kept bringing chicks back he left well enough alone.”

Sam nodded, his own face set in a frown now, and the two brothers remained silent for a few moments.

“In one of the towns, some of the rumours definitely made it back to him. He, well, he asked me if I knew anything. Apparently someone saw you kissing a guy out behind the general store.”

Dean’s eyes widened, and his pulse quickened even though their Dad was dead and gone and the incident was years old now.

“I told him it couldn’t possibly be true because I’d seen you bring a girl back to the motel that evening. That you must’ve made a move on a girl some dude in town liked and he was spreading rumours as payback”

Sam wasn’t sure what response he expected from his brother, but it certainly wasn’t the one he got. Dean threw his arms around his brother, hiding his suddenly-watery eyes from view, before pulling away just as abruptly.

“Thank you, Sammy.”


	13. Supernatural, Destiel

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> talk of sleep and general fluff

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yall im so fuckin tired my brains in full-on fog rn i used the last of my energy to try and make today's thing coherent but i probably failed lol

Somehow, Dean doubted he’d ever get used to seeing Cas tired.

He’d just spent too many years waking up to find Cas standing vigil, waiting patiently for either brother to rouse and join him. And after they got together, he’d usually find himself wrapped in the angel’s arms come morning, blue eyes staring fondly down at his sleeping form.

So even though it’d been months now since Cas had fully given up his grace, Dean felt a rush of amused affection pass through him when he looked up in the evenings to see him pouting petulantly at nothing, as though he could will the tiredness from his body.

“Come on Cas, I think it’s just about bed-time now.”

Cas resisted Dean’s gentle tugging at his arm, settling his weight more firmly into the couch.

“It’s only 9:30 Dean, don’t be ridiculous.”

A small smile rose to Dean’s face, unbidden, and he slipped his hand down Cas’ arm to clasp his hand gently.

“Yeah, but we were up multiple nights hunting this week. We both have some sleep to catch up on, especially since another case has already come through.”

Cas looked like he was going to protest again, so Dean took a step away without letting go of his partner’s hand.

“I’m going to bed early even if you’re not, Cas, but I always sleep better when you’re there. So will you come with me, at least? You can even perve at me for old-times-sake!”

“I was never perving at you, Dean, I was just ensuring you and Sam were safe in your sleep—”

“So you never considered what it would be like to join me in my nice warm bed one night?”

“I— well— I didn’t say I _never_ considered it, but—”

“See! You were totally perving at me. I know you’ve wanted a piece of this action for years now.”

While they’d been bickering, Dean had been gently tugging Cas up off the couch and across the living room, so he delivered that last line with a wink as he leant casually against the nearest wall.

“Dean, we are in a committed long-term relationship,” Cas stated blankly.

Dean’s smirk widened.

“All I’m hearing is you confirming the fact that you’ve known I’m hot shit since we met.”

Cas rolled his eyes and pulled the other man in for a gentle kiss, before pulling back with a considering look on his face.

“Well… You _were_ in Hell, at the time. It’s quite a warm place.”

Dean’s stunned laughter was only silenced by the second press of Cas’ lips against his own.


	14. Supernatural, Destiel

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> notes left on pillows are my love language (not really but they soft)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this one was again hard to write, because I've been distracted by reading, packing, and enrolling in uni(!!) today lol  
> me and a few friends are going away for five days (i live in aus so covid's not an issue here rn (in my state at least) dw) and although I'm planning on keeping up with writing each day, I'm not sure if I'll have the time to update this each day (although I will try)  
> this was almost a hp au because the fanfic I've been reading today is a hp one (a series i rly love just updated for the first time in ages but i was actually already rereading it before the update zdlvfdh) b u t i couldn't get the vibe right so y'all get this mess instead (oh and in case it wasn't clear by past chapters/ans what my view is, fuck jk rowling and her transphobic bullshit)

The morning after Cas and Dean finally, _finally_ got their shit together, Dean woke up in bed alone.

He would be more concerned if it was anyone but Cas. The angel kept odd hours, despite now sleeping some, and Dean had figured he might decide to get a head start on the day. They could lie in together at some point in the future.

Any small level of worry that otherwise lingered in the back of his mind dissipated when he rolled over with a groan and felt a crinkle of paper underneath his cheek. A minute later, he’d roused himself enough to sit and check the note Cas had left for him, unable to quash to fond smile that rose to his face as he stared at the familiar handwriting.

_‘Dean,_

_Rest assured; I am not having second thoughts about the events that came to pass last night. They were a long time coming, from my end at least, and I am very glad you gave in to your impulses to kiss me. I hope you’ll give into said impulses frequently in future. I welcome them eagerly and will endeavour to give into my own whenever appropriate._

_I would have liked to remain in bed with you a while longer, but Sam came by looking for me. He apparently drew concerned when he could not find me in my room or the living spaces, and wanted to ask you if I’d mentioned any plans to go out today. Obviously, that was not necessary._

_He seemed surprised to find me here, but it seemed to be more him not expecting either of us to have had the courage to act on our feelings, rather than us having feelings for each other in the first place. He wants to ask me a few questions in prep for our hunt later today, but I imagine he’ll have some other questions as well now. If you would come out to rescue me from his probing as soon as you wake up, I’d appreciate it. Maybe we can stun him into silence before he has a chance to poke fun at you? Or maybe I just really want to kiss you again. I guess we can find out together._

_-Castiel’_

Dean’s grin had grown as he read the note, and he folded it carefully before tucking it away and getting up. Not only had he been spared the complete awkwardness of having to come out to Sam, Cas had given him outright permission to be as obnoxious about their new relationship as he wanted. These next few weeks would be _amazing._


	15. Supernatural, Destiel

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Smol sick fic

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I’m writing and posting this from my phone and I’m tired from socialising and travel,,,,, sorry for the terrible writing/formatting that has probably resulted from that

Dean groaned as he sat up, glaring balefully at Cas.  
  
“I blame you for this.”

His words were met with an amused smile; the ex-angels eyes softened by sympathy.

“I did tell you to keep your distance from me. You’re the one who insisted I shouldn’t be left to ride out my first significant illness alone.”

Pouting, Dean stuck his hand out hopefully.

“If you’re gonna keep making sense, will you at least make me a hot drink?”

“Coffee or tea? Or I could heat you some soup— I’m pretty sure we still have leftovers of what you made.”

“...Do you promise not to tell Sammy?”

Cas laughed quietly.

“I’m assuming that means you want tea?”

“Only if no one ever knows. Other than us.”

Nodding his acceptance of the terms, Cas leant in, only to be stopped by an insistent hand.

“No! We’ll just keep swapping the germs back and forth.”

“Won’t I have developed an immunity? I didn’t think I could get reinfected by germs.”

“Not necessarily!! I don’t wanna risk it.”

Now it was Cas’ turn to pout.

“Are you telling me you won’t kiss me until you’re fully better?”

“I am.”

“...It’s times like these that I wish I still had my grace.”


	16. Supernatural, Destiel

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> random softness

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is probably also a mess (tomorrow’s is probably gonna be the only one while I’m away that isn’t and that’s because we might be doing a writing activity at some point) but eh I wrote sooo goal achieved

Although Dean would always love the thrill a hunt brought, in recent years the downtime had held its own appeal.

Quiet mornings spent lying in, enclosed within the arms of his favourite angel.

Dinners spent in the bunker, surrounded by the friends they’d picked up through the years.

Jokes shared in private moments, ones that would bring a smile to his face in years to come.

But best of all were the days spent curled together in front of the tv, watching anything and everything.

The feeling of Cas’ head in his lap as they introduced him to the joys of modern programming.

A soft press of lips against his as they stumbled into bed half-awake hours later.

The smile that rose to his face, unbidden, when he felt the weight of reciprocated love settling around his soul.


	17. Supernatural, Dean Winchester, Castiel

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> beach pog

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this is once again a mess but eh beach vibes are good. i didn’t even write about them actually at the beach but the attempt was made. im very tired

It was sunny and bright as they all headed down to the beach, and Dean felt inexplicably grateful for that fact.

Cas had mentioned wanting to experience the more simple joys of life without the weight of a hunt overshadowing them, and Dean had been unable to do anything but agree when he was met with the force of the angel's bright eyes. The first of these ‘simple joys’ he wanted was apparently a beach day with friends, so they’d organised one the next time they were near enough to one at a convenient time.

The fact that said convenient time happened to be a perfect beach day was the cherry on top of the joy Dean felt at being able to grant one of Cas’ wishes.


	18. Supernatural, Destiel

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> random rambling vaguely related to gender being whack

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> see all my past ans from this week shdhsjsj

Sometimes, Castiel wondered at the obsession with gender the humans he was surrounded by seemed to have.

Dean’s constant attempts to seem hyper-masculine, still seeking approval from his long-dead father.

The preconceived notions everyone seemed to have about sexuality, and who could and could not date.

The idea that his form would dictate his interests, and clothing, and pretty much everything about him and his life.

Would he be any different if he’d come to earth in a female vessel, all those years ago?

Would his relationship with the Winchester’s be different?

Would Dean be less afraid to confront the reality of what was between them?

Cas would just have to deal with the reality that he would likely never know, not without changing his vessel. And he’d grown quite attached to this one, despite the general confusion gender brought.


	19. Supernatural, Dean Winchester, Castiel

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> we love some good medically beneficial body-snatching

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so my friend is doing biomed at uni and was curious about whether or not she'll get to see a cadaver and i made a joke about how even if she doesn't do it in her course, grave-robbery exists. then i immediately thought of both spn and resurrection men because those are the two things i associate with grave robbery. and thus this was born. ignore any horrible historical inaccuracies i was mostly vibing and basing this off what I remembered from the sawbones eps on it. also this is probs slightly ooc but,,,,,  
> I'm back home now which is good for my energy levels but slightly sad

“That… happens to be my father’s grave you’re digging up right now.”

Dean froze, completely startled by the low, gravelly voice. He’d known when he became a resurrectionist that a situation such as this one was probably inevitable, but he hadn’t expected it to happen _tonight_. The grave was fresh, of course, but it wasn’t buried in a high-profile cemetery, and there hadn’t been any concerned family members hanging around to prevent an enterprising individual such as himself from disturbing the grave in the middle of the night for the good of science (and a lot of cash).

Or, at least, there hadn’t _seemed_ to be any family members. He may be revising that point right now.

“Ah, yes. I… work for the local sheriff’s department? And they decided they wished to… investigate your father’s body. To make extra sure there was no foul play involved.”

“And they sent you in the middle of the night?”

“…Yes! It was a very urgent matter. They didn’t want any potential evidence rotting… away…”

Dean lost his trail of thought when he glanced up at the man who had caught him and found himself peering into impossibly blue eyes. The other man was staring down at him inquisitively, and Dean found himself flushing despite himself.

“I see. And did the sheriff happen to tell you that my father’s death is well understood to have been as a result of consumption?”

“He… may have left that out of the briefing.”

The man snorted before crossing his arms over his chest.

“So, which medical school are you planning on selling him to?”

“I— _what?_ ”

“Come on, we both know very well that you aren’t working for any sheriffs office. I’m mostly just curious about how much you’ll get for him.”

“Aren’t you going to… stop me? Turn me in?”

A small smile crossed the man's face, barely visible in the low light.

“No.”

“…Why not?”

“Because my father was a highly, _highly_ religious man, and the idea that his body is going to be used to further science is an idea I greatly enjoy.”

Dean just blinked stupidly in response, and the man tilted his head slightly before elaborating.

“Me and my father… did not get along very well.”

“Then… why are you out here in the middle of the night? Most family members stay out this late to protect graves, not actively endorse the person robbing them.”

“Let’s just say I have inexplicable reasons for a lot of what I do. Do you need a hand grabbing his body out?”

“I mean… if you’re offering one?”

The man held a hand out to him, and Dean paused, not knowing exactly what was expected here. After a second, his brain rebooted enough to realise what was happening, and he grasped the offered hand in a firm handshake.

“I’m Castiel, by the way. Castiel Novak, although I guess you’d know part of that from the gravestone.”

Dean flushed again.

“I, uh, didn’t, actually.”

“Illiterate, or do you just not care?”

A rueful grin spread across his face to match the colour in his cheeks.

“The latter, although I pretend it’s former when I get into trouble. I’m Dean.”

Castiel smiled before hopping down into the grave.

“Now that I’m acquainted with the person I’m helping snatch and sell my father’s cadaver, I figure we can get to work? Just. Tell me how to help.”

It took Dean a second to respond, as he was too busy peering up curiously at the space where Cas had been standing. It wasn’t certain, especially in the darkness that surrounded them, but Dean could _swear_ he saw the glint of a metal handled shovel in the low grass, right behind where the other man had just been. He pulled his eye-line away finally to instead smirk at the blue-eyed man in front of him. He felt like him and Castiel would get along _very_ well.


	20. Supernatural, Destiel (preslash)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> somehow this is my first published soulmate au

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> my writing today was mostly a continuation of the au from yesterday (including research) which I feel kinda bad about considering I haven’t even looked at the doc for my wing fic for like, a week now b u t actually I think that’s maybe a good sign? Because I’m pretty sure the reason I got myself so hyped about it is bc I was touch starved and hadn’t left the house since before Christmas but after 5 days constantly in the company of friends has pulled me out of that as well as u could expect. Hopefully I’ll get in the right vibe to write some more of it _without_ that happening again  
> However, even with that, I ended up starting this soulmate au that I expect I will one day continue and post fully. I’ve added this to a series that I’ll post any stories that spawn from this into (I’ve already added little shadow) to go along with posting the link in the end an of specific chapters, because it means y’all don’t have to come back and check if I’ve finished them off and posted and can instead just sub to the series lol

Whenever Dean falls asleep these days, he does it with the vision of bright (impossibly, beautifully bright) blue eyes flashing across his mind.

He knows what it means, of course. Everyone does.

Even in a world filled with magic and supernatural creatures that most people have never even _dreamt_ of, soulmate visions weren’t exactly a secret.

How could they be, when they were a phenomena that 90% of the population had direct experience with?

***

It starts like this: one day, an individual will start dreaming of someone they’ve never met as they drift off to sleep. The visions start of simple— an aspect of their soulmates physical appearance that is distinct, defining, instantly recognisable. Their nose. Their smile. Their (stunning and oh so blue) eyes.

This was usually a signal that they were slated to meet their soulmate soon. Not immediately, not even necessarily in the next few months, but soon enough that fate kicked into high gear to say ‘Hey. Remember this person. Reach out to them when you meet in person.’

From there, more traits would be revealed. Their laugh. A silhouette of them ducking their head shyly. In Dean’s case, the flutter of massive, jet-black _wings_.


	21. Supernatural, Destiel

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> teacher!dean owns my wholeass heart

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> me, starting 3 separate aus within the 3 days of being home? more likely than u think.  
> its the serotonin that positive interactions with friends brings for me dsjh,fvzli.  
> more seriously, i don't _think_ I'll make this into a full work, but u never know. officially being enrolled in uni has made me emo reflecting back on school and shit, and this was prompted by me reminiscing over the teacher i had for both grade 5 & 6\. he truly is the type of teacher i could imagine Dean being,,,,, i aged up what year level he teaches though to Generic HS Class because i don't wanna have to research how middle school works and part of Mr A's charm was he treated us all as though we were a little older than we were and said shit u could get away with to 11&12-year-olds but not rly any younger than that sdkjhzg  
> it's not mentioned in this, because I couldn't get the line where i made it clear to flow right, but in my mind Cas is a doctor in this verse :)

Dean started slightly when he heard his husband’s familiar ringtone ring out into the class, and he saw his student’s smirking slightly as they glanced up from their work with knowing looks.

“Mr Winchester, I thought we weren’t supposed to have our phones on us in class? Doesn’t it promote _‘distractions’_?’”

In response, Dean shook his head ruefully while flipping his mute button across, tamping down the instinctive feelings of worry. Claire most _definitely_ knew exactly who had called Dean, given her status in his life as his ‘incredibly cheeky niece’, and she _also_ knew that Cas was well aware of his work schedule. For Dean to be receiving a call in the middle of class… Well, that generally indicated it was an urgent matter.

“Now, Claire, you know perfectly well why that rule doesn’t apply to us teachers the same way it does to you guys. We’re generally on top of things enough to know when it is and isn’t okay to be checking our phones.”

“You’re the one who forgot to silence it before class, sir, so I don’t know if you’re as on top of things as you claim. I can confidently say that _I’ve_ never disrupted class with a ringing phone before.”

Dean snorted slightly and raised an eyebrow at her. While that was technically true, Claire did not have the _greatest_ track record for abiding by the screen-free rule their principal was so desperate to enforce.

“I’ll have you know that despite how it might appear, my phone is set to ‘do not disturb’ whenever I’m teaching a class.”

Becky, who sat behind and to the left of Claire in the room, perked up a little at that, and Dean mentally prepared himself for whatever intrusive questions she likely had.

“Then how did the call get through, sir? Was it _your husband?”_

Seriously, he had no idea why she was so invested in his marriage. He knew about ‘shipping’, of course, couldn’t _not_ know when you had Charlie for a friend, but something about it being _his_ marriage that someone was so invested in made him feel slightly weird.

Rather than responding, he glanced down at his phone again, knowing that it had rung out. There weren’t any new calls or messages yet, but the fact that Cas had called _at all_ meant the portion of his brain that constantly worried wouldn’t shut up. Making an executive decision, he glanced back up at the class again to see most of his students looking curiously up at him.

“Alright, guys, I’m gonna step out into the hallway to take this, just in case it’s important. I’ll be watching through the windows, so no funny business while I’m out there, ok?”

He received a classroom full of affirmative motions and noises, only a quatre of which he actually believed, before slipping out into the hallway and pulling his phone to his ear. It took only a couple of rings for Cas to pick up, and Dean didn’t even wait for Cas’ customary greeting before speaking.

“Cas? Is everything ok??”

Cas paused for a second, and in that second Dean felt his anxieties skyrocket. These worries were shut down when Castiel started speaking, however.

“My apologies, Dean. I did not intend to make you anxious by calling you in the middle of the school day. If I may confess, I’d forgotten you’d be in class when I rang.”

Dean’s shoulders slumped, and he sagged into the wall across from his classroom. Inside, he could see Becky staring obviously out at him, and he raised an eyebrow in a manner he knew signalled very clearly ‘get back to work’. She ignored him, as he expected.

“It’s fine, angel, I know you wouldn’t have called if it wasn’t important. My kids will be fine without me for a few minutes. What’s up?”

“I— uh— I got a call from the agency about half an hour ago.”

Dean froze, body thrumming with an entirely different sort of nerves than before. There were only two things related to the agency that would cause Cas to forget himself enough to call Dean right in the middle of class, and Cas didn’t seem upset enough for one of them. That meant…

“Did they— I mean, did we…?”

He knew he wasn’t imagining the way Cas’ voice was slightly choked up as he continued speaking, as it matched the sudden wateriness of his own eyes.

“We’ve been chosen by a parent, Dean.”

They were going to have a _child._


	22. Supernatural, Destiel

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> random fluff related to coming home

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I didn’t start a new au today!! I also almost forgot to write today lmaoooo  
> This is a vague concept I was kicking around my head when I got back home from my holiday with my friends lol, although obvs it’s slightly different vibes. I’m glad I didn’t write it then because a) I l o v e resurrectionist!dean and b) I would’ve had no clue what to write today lmaooooooo

Something about getting home from a hunt was always... weird.

Part of it was _having_ a home now. Having a guaranteed place to rest his head every night. Knowing that no matter what else happened, he could always find comfort and safety in the bunker. Would always have that stability that he had so often dreamt of growing up, even if not in the exact way he expected.

Another part of it was actually having someone to come home _to_. Cas didn’t always come on hunts, these days, sometimes because he had angelic duties to attend to but more often recently because he had something he wanted to get done on base, a small project that he was filling his time with now that he had that free will he’d strived so hard to defend.

Not that Dean was complaining. The first time he and Sammy had arrived back to see Cas standing in the kitchen, a freshly baked pie on the bench as the angel smiled that wide way he did when he was genuinely proud of achieving something on his own— Well, let’s just say Sammy was lucky he didn’t suffer as much mental scarring after that incident as Dean had wanted to inflict on him. He found it hard to resist his angel at the best of times.

So while coming home from a hunt only to be wrapped up in the feelings of genuine happiness and _love_ that his life in the bunker with Cas brought would likely always be a little strange, Dean was perfectly content with that knowledge.

What was a ‘little strange’ in the grand scheme of everything they’d done in their lives, anyway?


	23. Supernatural, Destiel

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> random musings about allowing urself love as a hunter

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yeah idk this chap feels kinda Weak™, I’ve been Distracted by reading today shdjsjjsjs

It still shocked Dean, sometimes, that he was allowed this. That he had allowed _himself_ this.

He knew it was somewhat rare, for hunters to have this easy affection. Too many of them pushed any real connections away. Were scared of leaving loved ones behind to mourn, when they inevitably died on the job.

And that’s not even accounting for the difficulty to let someone in on the business without sounding like a complete nut job, or otherwise finding a way to explain away any extended stays in motels without your partner coming to the seemingly obvious conclusions. Dean, for all he’d avoided connections in the past, knew that side of things very well.

So he’d expected to go on in his life under the same conditions most other hunters lived their lives, with only the illusion of intimacy that continual one-night-stands could afford. What he had with Cas, in the here and now— he hadn’t even thought he’d _wanted_ it.

But god, now that he had it, he knew that he’d never go back to the way things were before— not if he had any choice in the matter, at least.


	24. Supernatural, Destiel

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> some in media res bickering

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> did I write this purely because I realised I’ve never had Cas say assbutt in one of these? maybe. and like. looking at the fandom page for it (which i was both delighted and not surprised to find), he says it like 3 times in canon. I still love it though.

“I  _still_ don’t understand why you think assbutt is such an effective insult. You’ve been hanging around me and Sam for how many years now? Surely you can come up with something better by now, I know you've heard _plenty_ worse _._ ”

Cas tilted his head in that ridiculously endearing way he’d mastered, and Dean had to consciously stop his arms from dropping from where he had them crossed in front of his chest.

“Well,  _Michael_ certainly seemed offended enough by it.”

“Are you sure he wasn’t just surprised? Not even by your....  _creative touch_ with the insult but by the situation as a whole?”

“...The Molotov cocktail might’ve had  _ something  _ to do with it, I will concede. But anyway, even without that, the fact that you’re choosing to argue with me so much about this says more about you than it does me, don’t you think? Maybe the _reason_ you’re so fixated on it is less because of how ‘ineffective’ it is and more to do with you refusing to admit that it’s an actually good insult?”

At this, Dean threw his head back and genuinely laughed, not put off by the small pout that crossed Cas’ lips in response.

“Babe.  _Babe._ It has less to do with its quality or lack thereof in the insult department and more the fact that you _keep using it._ Like, once again, I  _ know _me and Sam have exposed you to a lot worse. Do you like it so much _because_ it’s so mild?? Does calling someone a fuckwit offend your angelic sensibilities?”

“Hey! It’s not  _that_ mild. It has the word ‘ass’ in it!”

“Yeah, but that’s like. A level 1 swear word. Babies first curse type shit.”

“And?”

“I dunno, Cas, I just find it interesting that me and Sam haven’t corrupted you more, in some ways. Although I guess me more so than Sam.”

“I mean,  _ you’ve _certainly ‘corrupted’ me over time. Recent years more than most.”

Dean smirked, glancing over Cas’ shoulder to check the room was clear before pulling him in for a quick and dirty kiss. The angel’s cheeks were lightly flushed when they pulled apart a moment later, pupils dilated, and Dean’s smirk grew in his ensuing smugness.

“That, I most definitely have.”


	25. Supernatural, Destiel

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> bday fluff

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> _yes _this is late it's not my fault  
>  bc aus is ahead of the us i didn't hear it was deans bday till this morning and although i planned on writing this early enough in the day that technically for lotsa people it was still his bday, i got distracted by a uni discord server (i socialised!!! whack)__

On the morning of his birthday, Dean liked to get up and drive.

Not to go anywhere in particular, and not for any real reason he could put his finger on, but it was a time-honoured tradition at this point. He’d wake up at his normal time, but rather than making breakfast or finding a diner or annoying Sammy like he would any other day of the year, he’d find himself wandering to Baby and just. Driving.

He felt at peace, out on the road. For the hour or so he was out there, no worries would bother him. It didn’t matter what else was happening in the world, where the latest apocalypse was at in its progression, how fucked up their latest hunt had gotten them. All that mattered was the thrum of Baby’s engine and the glide of her wheels on the open road.

That had been how it was for years now, and Dean had expected it to _stay_ like that for years to come. Just him alone, revelling in the small amount of peace this tradition afforded him. It probably _would_ have stayed exactly like that, if it wasn’t for Cas.

See, Castiel was a fucktonne braver than Dean was about certain topics. That bravery had led to him forcibly pulling Dean’s head out of his ass a few months back, when Dean had almost died on a hunt. Cas had been _terrified_ , not knowing if the vestigial amounts of grace he had left would be enough to heal the hunter, and Dean had come-to to wide, terrified blue eyes and the desperate press of lips against his own. Sam _still_ hadn’t stopped giving them shit about how Disney-esque it could be seen as, as though he’d been saved by the power of ‘true love’s kiss’ rather than Cas’ angelic powers. Although threatening to demonstrate what a _real_ true love’s kiss looked like had served as an effective way to both get Sam to shut up and spend an enjoyable and uninterrupted few minutes with his favourite angel.

All this to say, Dean no longer knew if he wanted to keep to his usual birthday tradition. Although the peace of the open road still appealed to him, part of him was loath to give up the quiet mornings he’d been sharing with Cas lately. The comfort of his angel’s arms around him and the soft intimacy afforded by lying in with him for an hour or so before getting up and preparing for the day.

He kept thinking it over as he got up to relieve his bladder, and when he returned to their newly shared room he paused in the doorway for a second to admire the figure of Cas on the bed.

Cas had woken up while Dean was in the bathroom, and was now sitting on the bed, knees pulled up to his chest. He tilted his head inquisitively as Dean obviously hesitated, but didn’t say anything yet, apparently as loath to break the silence surrounding them as Dean was. Dean considered the situation for another moment, then surprised _himself_ when he found himself holding an arm out to Cas on the bed in a clear invitation.

Who said he couldn’t have the open road _and_ Cas?


	26. Supernatural, Dean Winchester, Castiel

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> cas discovers podcasts

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this is purely because i've been thinking abt the adventure zone today,,,,,, i know in canon there's something w metatron where cas like,, downloads the knowledge of a bunch of shit into his brain or something (i really have the weirdest mix of spoilers for this show) but I'm ignoring whatever the fuck that is for this because something about cas being absolutely delighted at the mcelroys shenanigans brings me great joy (also idk when that is timeline-wise so might b b4 taz existed anyway)  
> note, if i end up writing a taz drabble or two in the next few days, don't be shocked. I'll still continue writing spn ones as well for the near future as we just started season 3 finally and i don't see this hyperfixation going away fully till I've at the very least finished the show, but it might not be as all-consuming as it has been so far this year. also everyone go listen to the adventure zone right now it is so fuckin worth it even if there's a few eps where it's more iffy in quality at the start

“Dean,” Cas started very seriously, sitting down at the breakfast table one morning. “I think I now understand why Charlie feels the way she does about certain media franchises.”

Dean snorted from where he was at the stovetop, only glancing back to see the slightly wild look on Cas’ face.

“Aw yeah, Cas, I figured you’d get there eventually! I know you enjoy the stuff we’ve been showing you, but everyone has slightly different tastes in media. So what is it? A new tv show? A book series?”

“I believe it is called a pod-cast?”

“A _podcast?”_

“Yes, a podcast. It is a form of media primarily delivered through audio format, and can be about a range of topics—”

“I know what a podcast is, Cas, you just took me by surprise. Should’ve figured you’d be into that nerdy shit like Sammy.”

“Dean, you LARP with Charlie regularly.”

Dean, now finished with his cooking, sat across from Castiel with a cheeky smile.

“And? LARPing involves like, sword-fighting and battles and shit. _Fake_ sword-fighting, yeah, but it’s still sword-fighting. That’s inherently _cool_ nerdy shit.”

Cas blinked, tilting his head beguilingly.

“If that’s what helps you rest at night,” he stated dryly, and Dean choked on his coffee.

“ _Anyway,_ what podcast is it? You said ‘media franchise’ so I’m assuming it’s more a story-based one than knowledge-based, but I can never tell with you. Do story-driven podcasts even exist?”

Cas fixed him with a stare that clearly conveyed ‘I’m sure you know the answer to that already and are only asking it to seem cooler and less knowledgeable about this topic than you actually are, so I will not dignify it with a response’ before absent-mindedly picking up the fork Dean had placed in front of him at some point in their conversation.

“It is a podcast based around the tabletop-roleplaying system ‘Dungeons & Dragons’, and is hosted by a family that from what I have seen are relatively popular in certain sects of the internet, especially ones revolving around podcasting.”

“Wait, a D&D podcast? Are you talking about _TAZ_?”

Cas perked up.

“You’ve heard of it? I didn’t know if it would be your ‘speed’, so to speak.”

Dean waved a hand generally while taking another bite of his food.

“Ah, Charlie’s mentioned it a few times. I think she was trying to convince me to start listening to it on hunts. Something about gay wizards and tacos…?”

“I shall have to ask her opinion on how several character arcs progressed, then, I would be interested in hearing her thoughts now that I am done with the first campaign.”

“Wait, when did you start listening to it, Cas? I thought it was relatively long?”

Cas blinked, unassuming.

“Well, I started it the night before last night, and the podcast player I was using allowed you to listen at 2 times speed.”

“Cas.”

“Yes?”

“Did you sit and listen to a podcast for almost 2 days straight?”

“It seemed efficient.”


	27. Supernatural, Destiel

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> basically both dean and cas are whipped

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> im having a soft day today because my brother was rly sweet to me earlier zdvjkdfzlv  
> although ig almost all of these are soft actually so it would probably be this soft even w/out that,,,, but shhhhh

Dean knew that Sam thought it was adorable, how much he indulged Castiel. He could see it in the soft smiles his brother sent at the two of them. The amused look in his eyes when Dean used to protest that people were reading into things too much. The eyebrow he raised when Dean did things like giving Cas the last of his pie before the angel had even asked for it.

Thing is, Dean knew it was sometimes ridiculous. He was willing to do almost anything to get a smile out of his partner, too in love with the soft looks he was rewarded with to care about the personal effort or loss that was involved in that quest.

 _But Cas did it too_ , even if Dean felt like his soft smiles were a lot less adorable than Cas’ were (and that was saying something, as Dean felt he was pretty damn adorable at the best of times). Dean wasn’t exactly stupid. He _knew_ the worth of those vinyls Cas had ‘just stumbled across in a second-hand shop the other day’, and it wasn’t the price of something you ‘just stumble across’. Cas had _gone looking_ for them, just for Dean, just to see his smile and feel his joy in the arms that he threw around the angel and the press of their lips together (and oh had their lips pressed together… Sam was lucky enough to not be in the room for _that_ particular display of affection).

Their relationship was made up of little moments like that, of small smiles and I-just-thought-you-might-appreciate-it-gifts and plates pushed at each other towards the end of meals. They’d spent so long denying things, denying the significance of their bond even while knowing ‘profound’ didn’t nearly cover how much they cared about each other, and now that they _weren’t_ ignoring things?

Well, a few indulgent moments could be excused.

He just wished Sammy was less damn smug about it all.


	28. Supernatural, Destiel

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> a conversation abt cooking

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this was just going to be me projecting the fact that despite me having like 0 cooking practice, my mum getting a job at a grocery store has thrown me in the deep end on prepping dinners for myself, and this week especially I've been cooking Actual Things. And it takes so fucking long bc I'm so not practiced but i have 0 time management skills (aka I've been having Late Dinners). however i did not get that far as cas and dean got distracted.  
> also today i spent way too long making a uquiz to assign people as the 5 ocs i made for a story i wrote when i was 12 that i still hold near and dear to my heart. plz take it i will love u forever u can find it [ here](https://uquiz.com/quiz/WK8ZhB/) and reblog it [ here](https://actuallyrandomperson.tumblr.com/post/641525533791911936/oops-i-made-a-uquiz) 💜💜

“Cas, you wanted to help cook tonight, yeah?”

Castiel looked up from where he was sitting on the couch and nodded. Dean grinned and walked forward to close the couple of metres space between them before offering his hand to Cas.

“Alright then, up you get! We should get started soon.”

Cas frowned down at his watch before looking back up at Dean, head cocked.

“Dean, it’s only a quatre past 5.”

Dean raised his eyebrow, holding his hand out more insistently.

“Yeah, and?”

“…We don’t usually eat until at least 7?”

Dean, sensing that Cas wasn’t about to take up the implicit offer his hand had symbolised, shoved it back into his jacket pocket.

“Yeah, but we have to decide what we’re gonna eat, and you’re not very experienced in the kitchen.”

The look _that_ earnt Dean could probably be best described as a pout, and he chuckled softly.

“What does that have to do with anything?”

“Aw, come on Cas, surely you know everything takes ten times longer in the kitchen than you think it will when you’re first starting out? Because you’re less practised at chopping and all that sorta shit. It’s better to start early than end up having dinner an hour later than you planned.”

Cas was still pouting, and Dean pulled his hand back out of his pocket to cup his face softly.

“If we finish the prep work early we can take a break before starting to actually cook everything? Have a little quality time and work to scar Sammy when he inevitably wanders through the kitchen?”

Cas smiled softly, and Dean felt himself warm.

“You’d think he’d walked in on us enough times to know better than to enter a room without knocking now.”

Dean leant in to brush their lips together softly before pulling away again.

“I think he just remains ever-hopeful that one day we’ll learn to respect the communal spaces.”

Cas pushed forwards into a firmer kiss, and Dean’s mind blanked for a moment. Once it had finished rebooting, he surprised himself by finding the strength of mind to pull away again.

“I— uh— dinner. We still need to— dinner,” he managed to get out, voice slightly strangled, and Cas smirked in a way that made Dean regret ever accidentally teaching him the tricks to seduction (because seriously, how was he supposed to think when Cas was sitting there looking like _that_ ).

“Who said I’d forgotten about dinner?”


	29. Supernatural, Destiel

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> a soft morning spent together

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> in case it wasn't clear by the concept being a recurring theme across these drabbles, even if just by mention, i fuck with the idea of soft mornings spent w a loved one so hard.  
> legitimately my first female crush realisation (aka the oh fuck gay???? moment) was me going 'ah how nice would it be to just spend quiet mornings w my best friend, just like cuddling in bed and having breakfast together and shit,,,,, this is totally platonic feels right?? _wait it's NOT????????_ ' (disclaimer u can absolutely cuddle a best friend in bed in the mornings etc and have it b platonic but when that thought is accompanied by Pining and Yearning its a hm mayb not just platonic thing)

Dean, for all people seemed to assume otherwise, was a tried-and-true morning person.

Oh, sure, if he’d had a particularly wild night he’d struggle a little, especially if that wild night included copious amounts of alcohol, but outside of that? He’d rise with the sun, happy as a clam, and prepare himself for whatever they were doing that day, maybe head to the kitchen if they were staying somewhere with a stovetop for once or at home in the bunker.

Castiel, on the other hand, had taken to sleeping as though he needed to catch up on all the years he hadn’t been, back when he was still a fully-fledged angel. He clung to Dean every morning, groaning in protest at his boyfriend's attempts to quietly extricate himself, and would glare petulantly when he inevitably succeeded.

Nothing was different about their routine this morning.

“Iss cold,” Cas whined, stretching his limbs across into Dean’s newly vacant side of the bed.

“Sorry, babe, I want to get a head start on breakfast. I’ll put the coffee on for you at least?”

Cas shifted so that he could properly glare at Dean.

“But I have to get out of bed for coffee, and I _don’t_ have to get out of bed if you come back here now instead of going to the kitchen.”

Dean shook his head, wiping a fake tear from his eye.

“I knew it! You’re only with me for my body, aren’t you? After all these years we’ve had together!”

“Less your body, and more your status as a personal space heater. Although I might be revising that position right about now given you’re _still not back in bed with me._ ”

Rather than responding immediately, Dean dropped a kiss onto Cas’ forehead and stepped back from the bed.

“Oh, please, we both know that you’d manage 5 minutes _tops_ without me and my body heat before crawling straight back to me. You love me, really.”

Cas grinned.

“Well, we all have our own personal failings.”

***

To the surprise of approximately no-one, Dean had only been in the kitchen for about 10 minutes when he felt a familiar pair of arms wrap around his waist and a chin hook over his shoulder.

“Aww, did you get too cold all alone in bed, you big baby?”

Cas’ arms tightened their hold, and Dean instinctively relaxed into it.

“You know I did, given I’d started complaining about it before you even left the room,” Cas grumbled, and Dean laughed.

“I dunno, you might’ve been lying to coerce me into cuddling you for a while longer.”

Cas pressed a kiss against Dean’s cheek before loosening his arms and heading to the coffee pot.

“Since when have I had to coerce you into cuddles, Dean? You seek them out enough on your own.”

Sure enough, Dean had put the knife he was holding down when he felt Cas tugging away, and had instinctively turned to try and coax the ex-angel back into his arms.

“Well, it’s a mutually beneficial arrangement. You get my body heat, I get to subtly grope you at a moments notice.”

Rather than walking back to Dean, Cas had decided to lean against the counter space next to the coffee machine while cradling his mug in his hands, and Dean took the opportunity to admire his face in the early morning light. A few silent minutes passed that way, with the two of them quietly staring at each other, but it didn’t take long for Cas to gently place his mug back down on the bench in a clearly inviting manner.

It takes approximately two seconds for Dean to be in his personal space, hands on Cas’ hips and their lips pressed gently together. Their foreheads remained pressed together even as the kiss broke off, and Dean couldn’t help but grin.

“Love you, Cas.”


	30. Supernatural, Destiel (preslash)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> enemies to lovers snippet

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> have a little snippet of my latest au,,, a ~taster~ if u will.  
> I might actually manage to develop this into a full fic without the writing braincell dropping off because in a server last night I was brainstorming petty things Cas and Dean could do to each other and it was just. So much fucking fun.

Dean Winchester absolutely _hated_ Castiel Novak, and had ever since the first time they met. He wasn’t sure exactly what it _was_ about the Castiel that rubbed him the wrong way, especially since their first interaction had actually been decidedly Normal (especially for them), but he did, and he doubted that would ever change.

(His admittedly gorgeous piercing blue eyes had absolutely nothing to do with it, no matter what Charlie would have you believe. Him acknowledging Cas’ attractiveness was _not_ a sign that he harboured deeper feelings for the other man than the rage and annoyance he displayed whenever they interacted, it was a sign that he wasn’t fucking _blind_.)


	31. Supernatural, Destiel

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> ace conversations

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 31 days y'all! thats a whole ass month!!!!!!!!!  
> anyway this one has a linked full fic in the end notes because it's 1k of me projecting my own feelings abt how I personally plan to handle any serious relationships I enter into w non-ace folks, although obvs I'll be careful because douchbags are out in the world 😔

“Dean, I… will not be able to provide sexual-intimacy to you if we choose to pursue this relationship. I feel I must be clear about that before you commit yourself to me more than you already have.”

Dean froze, taken aback. Clearly, he hadn’t been expecting _those_ to be the first words out of Cas’ mouth after the angel pulled back from their first kiss, especially given they’d only just gotten through the whole ‘grand declarations of love’ thing.

“Like… never ever? Is it an angel thing? Or is it because I’m, well… _me._ ”

“It’s not anything to do with you, Dean! It’s just not a level of intimacy I personally enjoy, no matter who it is I am in bed with."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [You can find the full version here as well as in the attached series :)](https://archiveofourown.org/works/29106222/)


	32. Supernatural, Destiel

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cas gets a minor injury

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another long’un today but I cannot be bothered posting it separately and it’s under 800 words sooooo  
> I got a steam burn today and it hurts like a bitch can u tell. this isn’t my best work I write it on my phone while desperately ignoring the pain in my left hand lol

The first time Castiel injured himself post losing his grace, Dean wasn’t prepared for how _he’d_ feel.

It was an incredibly minor injury, all things considered, especially considering the shit he’d put his body through when he felt comfortable joining their hunts again, but that didn’t stop the frisson of guilt that ran through Dean as he witnessed Cas wince and instinctively pull his hand back from the steam.

“Fuck babe, are you alright? Steam burns hurt like a bitch.”

Cas, who had been staring thoughtfully at his fingers as though they held an interesting mystery that had to be solved, met Dean’s eyes as calmly as he always did.

“I did not quite expect a burn to feel like this. Not being instantly able to heal the tissue is. Strange, in some ways. It hurts more than I thought it would.”

Dean felt that frisson of guilt widen at the reminder of what Cas had given up to stay here, with him, and busied himself by guiding the ex-angel across to the sink and shoving his hand under some running water.

“You’ve gotta hold it under for _at least_ fifteen to twenty minutes, you hear me? It pulls the heat out or something. I wasn’t really paying attention to why it worked when I learnt it, the important thing is that it _does._ ”

Cas frowned even as he dutifully held his hand in the water.

“Isn’t that wasteful, though? Leaving the water running for so long?”

“Yeah, well, the minor burns first aid developers weren’t exactly thinking about the environment when they realised it worked. Or water bills. They just found something that worked. And anyway, our water system means all the water from this will get used on the plants outside later, and you’re not the one paying the water bills, I am. This is my fault, anyway.”

“How so, Dean? You weren’t to know I’d go sticking my hand in the steam, so there was no way you could’ve prevented this. It’s just an accident, and one that you couldn’t predict.”

Dean sighed and looked away briefly, torn between gladness that they would be having this conversation over an injury that took barely any time to heal, even for normal humans, and frustration that they had to have it at all.

“That’s not... really what I’m talking about, Cas.”

He looked back, and once Cas’ bright eyes met his own he continued.

“I just— you gave up your grace for _me_ , even after all the pain I put you through, and I can’t stop thinking about all the ways that’s made your life harder. If you were still an angel, that steam burn wouldn’t matter because it would’ve been gone as soon as it occurred. And I worry that one day you’ll wake up and realise that it’s not worth it.”

Cas, realising this was less about the burn and more an indication that Dean’s insecurities had been working against him one again, reached out with his non-burned hand to draw the hunter closer to him. 

“Dean, you know I would’ve given up much more than just my grace if that’s what it took to be with you, right?”

Cas took his expression to mean he _didn’t_ know, and tightened his hold around Dean’s waist.

“Living without my grace has certainly been an adjustment at times, but I could never and will never begrudge you for that. Staying here on earth may have lost me my grace, but it has given me more than I ever dreamed I could have. You are the most important person in the world to me, and I am _honoured_ by our relationship. I do not, and _will_ not _ever_ regret giving up my status as an angel for you.”

Dean’s eyes widened over the course of Cas’ declaration, and he chuckled lightly, visibly flushed.

“I, uh. I didn’t realise you held such strong feelings about this.”

Cas held his gaze with the same amount of intensity Dean had come to expect, and Dean found himself holding his breath as he waited to see if the ex-angel would lean in. He was semi-disappointed to hear Cas’ low voice rumble “I will have to be better about that”, expecting that to signal the end of the moment, but despite his expectations it was only a few seconds later that he felt the hard, desperate push of lips against his own.

***

Although Dean didn’t stop worrying any time Cas got injured, no matter the severity of what had occurred, Cas continued to make it clear that he had no regrets about what being with Dean cost him. And Dean wasn’t about to go complaining about that.


	33. Supernatural, Destiel

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> a ~continuation~ of the teacher!dean one

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i wasn't rly sure what to write today but sky's been talking abt how much dean & cas deserve a baby lately and also all the aus we've discussed at length in servers have included baby talk even more so than usual so i was thinking abt it today and then this happened. it's supposed to b a continuation of chapter 21, so if anyone wants to go peek at that for a refresher then feel free lol but this does not require much context. if i can b bothered i might post the teacher au as a separate work at some point and add more detail to this section (i tried but the convo wasn't flowing write so ~vague and questionable quality it is~) and then people that are put off by drabble comps can appreciate it dsfjdk,bvgh  
> oh also me and mum just watched the s3 coven ep today (and also the dreams ep) and I'm so mad that people got angry abt ruby as she is a Vibe and i don't like that the writers had to make her evil. although lbr she probably would've died anyway because she's ~female~  
> cw references to abuse and alcoholism

Dean is unsurprised to find himself awake in the early hours of the morning, the night after they receive the good news.

He’s even less surprised to find the other side of their bed empty, residual warmth indicating to him that Cas had only recently slipped off. He knew that Cas would probably be feeling slightly out of sorts, even with the joy and relief that _finally_ being selected by a birth parent had brought them.

He wraps the comforter around him to combat the chill that seeped into their house every night, padding quietly to the kitchen and working quickly to prep two mugs of cocoa before silently heading to their back porch, passing one off to his husband before sitting beside him and settling the comforter around the both of them. A few minutes passed in silence before Cas spoke, voice low in deference to the early hour.

He didn’t say anything Dean didn’t already know. They’d had conversations similar to this one before, back when they were first discussing the possibility of children together, before they were even engaged. Neither of them had had particularly healthy or happy family lives, growing up, and the confirmation that they would actually be getting a baby had brought up all their residual fears that somehow they’d end up fucking up their children in the same way. Some part of Dean suspected they’d _always_ be scared of turning into their fathers, especially if something happened to either of them.

Cas rehashed his worries that he would struggle to connect emotionally with any of their kids, that he’d turn as cold and distant as his father had been and subsequently his eldest brother seemed to be with his own son. Dean admitted he was still worried that he’d turn to alcoholism to deal with his issues if things started to get tough. Both of them were worried that something would happen to the other and they’d feel they had no options but to leave their children alone for long periods of time, as they had been growing up, even with the stable jobs they were employed in compared to their fathers. As the night passed, they reassured each other that they would be okay, that they’ll hold each other accountable and not be afraid to lean on the support system provided by their friends and families if needed, legs stretching out and tangling together as they both lost some of the tension they were carrying in the reminders that neither of them were in this alone.

And by the time the sun rose in front of them, they were blanketed in a comforting silence as the fear gave back way to the initial feelings of pure joy and love that had surrounded them when they had received that vital phone call.


	34. Supernatural, Destiel

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> soft established relationship vibes

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so season 3 is a vibe tbh, me and mum got through four eps today (groundhog day, the one where they get arrested and agent henriksen dies, ghostfacers(!!!!!), and the one w the calls from dead relatives) and i pretty much felt the whole range of emotions spn brings in those 4 eps  
> however, s3 does _not_ seem to be pulling up the writing braincell for me and I've been too distracted reading some longer works to think abt writing that much so this is Questionable lol.

It was moments like this, Dean knew, that would make up his personal heaven, were he to ever end up there.

There was nothing particularly significant to it, but that was part of what made it so wonderous. He was in the kitchen with Cas, both of them working simultaneously to keep each other on track while also getting distracted by the simple joy that uninterrupted time together always brought. It was Cas’ turn to be focused, with him concentrating fiercely on the vegetables he was chopping, and Dean was staring contentedly at the angel’s profile when he was hit with a sudden wave of emotion.

Cas glanced across at him, and obviously something was showing on Dean’s face, as the angel crossed the room in an instant.

“Are you alright, Dean?”

Dean nodded, reaching out to pull Cas closer to him.

“Yeah, I’m alright. I just… can’t believe how lucky I am, sometimes. To have this. To have _you._ ”


	35. Supernatural, Destiel

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> dean muses on the fact that cas loves him ig

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 🤷♀️🤷♀️🤷♀️ I’m tired today yall (although I saw my best hs friend today and we went op-shopping/out to lunch so it’s a Good tired)  
> Did not watch anymore eps unfortunately but I forced my friend to watch the best parts of ghostfacers so that almost counts

It amazed Dean, sometimes, that of all the people in the world Cas could’ve chosen to settle down with, he had been the one.

Because really, even _without_ the whole ‘angel of the lord thing’ that Dean was sure would fuel even the most tame person in the world's fantasies, Cas was fucking hot. Dean would know. His physical appearance was definitely not a barrier to him choosing someone less fucked up than Dean to focus his feelings towards.

But somehow, Castiel had seen every molecule that made up Deans existence, had learnt his darkest secrets and deepest fears, and had _still_ declared his soul bright. Thought it, and by extension _he_ , was beautiful. Had waited until he, too, was ready to acknowledge the sheer love they felt for each other, ‘profound bond’ or not.

He still wasn’t sure he deserved it, but that was Cas’ choice to make. All he could do was work to be as good as Castiel truly believed he was.


	36. Supernatural, Destiel

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> cas fails at surprising dean

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> we did not watch anymore today 😔😔😔 my mum had a course thing the had to head straight to work afterwards,,,,,, we’re so close and yet so far

Dean was feeling the familiar calm that surrounded him after successful hunts right up until the moment he stepped foot inside the bunker.

Nothing was visibly wrong, and Dean hadn’t gotten any texts from Cas warning him that there had been an attack, but a thick stench of smoke was hanging in the air, and Dean _also_ hadn’t gotten a response to his message informing the angel that the hunt had finished earlier than expected. Things were probably fine, especially with the sheer amount of warding they’d done on the place, but he was still on guard as he walked quietly towards the area where the smell was strongest.

It was a relief when Cas appeared in front of him, seeming as unharmed and scruffy as always

“Dean! You’re home... early.”

Dean grinned, reaching forewords to straighten Cas’ tie before tugging him in for a quick peck.

“Yeah, babe, did you miss my message earlier? I wrapped things sooner than expected so I hit the road this morning. Is everything alright?”

A small, slightly embarrassed smile crossed Cas’ face and Dean had to resist the urge lean back in for another kiss.

“Everything’s fine. I just had a small mishap in the kitchen, but I can sort things out myself.”

Dean raised an eyebrow.

“You, in the kitchen alone? You _know_ that’s just asking for trouble, right?”

“I was following the recipe carefully, I’m not quite sure how things went so... wrong.”

Dean chuckled and gave in to the urge from a moment ago, letting his lips linger for a few seconds longer this time.

“I can take a look if you want? See if I can see the issue?”

Cas tensed at that, and Dean frowned.

“I don’t have to if you wanna give up, or don’t want me to see how badly you did for whatever reason, but you know it’s fine, right? I’m not gonna judge for struggling to make something alone on your first attempt at it.”

Cas sighed.

“It was supposed to be a surprise for you,” he admitted, “and given I thought you’d be home late tonight or tomorrow morning I figured I’d get a few practices in before presenting you with the final version.”

A surprise... for _him?_ Dean’s mind worked quickly, and he knew his voice was slightly wondrous when he responded to Cas’ admission.

“Cas... did you try to bake a pie for me?”

Castiel nodded, and distantly, Dean found himself wondering how he’d ever gotten so lucky as he pulled his boyfriend in for another, toe-curling kiss.


	37. Supernatural, Destiel (preslash)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> dean finds cas crying because emotions

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sky u know exactly why this exists today flkvsjhdf,k although I'm very excited abt soulless cas au its made me Feel Things so angsty vibes it is  
> also excitingly we're up to ep 16 now! we could not watch it tonight but the recap started and i heard carry on my wayward son and just fuckin 👀👀👀👀👀

The first time Dean catches Castiel crying, he doesn’t exactly know what to think.

It was a perfectly normal day, as far as he knew, and there was nothing Dean could think of that would have left Cas feeling the way he so obviously was, tears streaming down his face. He hovered in the doorway to Cas’ room awkwardly, worrying his bottom lip, and he took a deep breath in before stepping forwards carefully.

“Uh… Cas? Are you… okay??”

Cas glanced up and managed a smile that looked more like a grimace.

“Crying can be quite a cathartic exercise,” Cas said, and Dean took another step closer.

“That… doesn’t exactly answer my question?”

“I find it almost freeing, in some ways.”

Dean nodded sharply, figuring he should probably take the hint that Cas didn’t exactly want to talk about whatever was going on.

“Right. I’m just gonna…”

With these words, Dean gestured vaguely behind him before turning and leaving, feeling slightly guilty for leaving Cas alone when he was so obviously vulnerable. But Cas didn’t want to talk about it, and they were just friends, no matter what the clenching in his gut that he felt whenever Cas so much as _smiled_ at another guy seemed to think. He didn’t have the right to push for more.

***

The thing is, it kept happening. Dean would run into Cas in seemingly innocuous places around the bunker, and the angel would have tears streaming down his face.

Sometimes he had explanations, no matter how flimsy.

(“I was watching a sad movie”, “I was reading this article about a dog that died and kept waiting for its master”, “I kept looking up statistics about colony collapse in honey-bees and how not enough is being done yet to ensure we save them from extinction”.)

Sometimes he didn’t.

(“It’s really quite a release, Dean”, “It’s a perfectly healthy way to express negative emotions one may be feeling”, “Oh, am I?”.)

And sometimes he said nothing at all, just staring wide-eyed at Dean as he flailed and made awkward noises before beating a hasty retreat, worried he’d do something he couldn’t take back, like pulling Cas close and kissing the tear tracks away.

***

It all came to a head about a month later, when Dean walked into Cas' room once again only to find him sobbing his eyes out on the bed, crying harder than Dean had seen him do so even considering recent events. Dean hurried forwards towards Cas, breaking every self-imposed boundary he had placed since the first time he’d caught Cas like this, dropping to his knees to look the angel in the eye.

“Cas… Cas, are you ok? Why are you crying? What’s happened?”

Dean reached out and tugged Cas’ hands away from his face when he didn’t get a response.

“Seriously, you’ve been worrying me, man. You can tell me if somethings going on.”

Watery eyes met his own, and Cas hesitated for a second before speaking.

“I don’t… _I don’t know._ ”

With that, more tears ran down his face, and when Dean held his arms out Cas almost collapsed forwards into them.

“It’s okay, Cas, I got you, just let it out honey, I’m here for you,” Dean murmured into Cas’ hair, rubbing his back gently.

The positive affection seemed to make another round of sobs wrack Castiel’s body, but his arms tightened around Dean’s waist and he burrowed his face further into Dean’s chest, so Dean didn’t dare pull away. He could freak out about this all later. For now, he had an angel to comfort.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> to make up for the fact that i also have no clue why tf cas is crying I'm just gonna pretend that in every instance he was getting his w a wave of sad vibes from soul-selling au!cas somehow


	38. Supernatural, Castiel

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> castiel muses on friendship

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i was brave and socialised today! i ended up going to a first year uni students meet up for my uni and i made a friend by rambling at her about supernaturaL SDKFJSFSDKLFJ  
> but no seriously i hope i have some unit overlap w her, she seemed cool and nice and let me talk about the angsty au i talked abt a lil in yesterdays notes but also I'm bad at keeping up friendships  
> oh also i finally googled how to get em dashes in word so i might actually start using them lmaooooooo imagine me adhering to actual grammar conventions sdlzfgvjg

Castiel… didn’t exactly _get_ human socialisation, sometimes.

He knew why it existed, of course, why it was important— friendship was something he’d lived without for millennia, before the Winchesters, but he couldn’t imagine going back to that lifestyle now. A life without connection was soulless, _empty,_ and that wasn’t him. Not anymore.

But the practice of forming those friendships, of talking to someone new without scaring them off or boring them with his interests? That seemed beyond him, most of the time. How could he truly tell if someone was genuinely invested in what he had to say, vs pretending to be in order to seem polite?

And that was _without_ adding in the weird mix of intentions people could have, especially considering he was apparently fairly conventionally attractive. Romantic and sexual interest seemed too easy to mix up with platonic intentions, even more so in the early stages, and Cas was tired of missing the signs. How did you work out someone was showing _too much_ interest, was leaning forwards to bring their body closer to yours rather out of a desire to hear your words more clearly? And how was he supposed to make it clear that he was engaging in a conversation for purely friendly reasons, and wasn’t looking for anything more significant than that?

It was way more confusing than it really should be, in all honesty. But hopefully he’d have many more years down on earth trying to puzzle it all out.


	39. Supernatural, Destiel (preslash)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> arranged marriage vibes

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey y'all, its ur friendly neighbourhood destiel drabble writer back at it again with another fucking au  
> seriously this fic is a blessing and a curse because on one hand it encourages me to put pen to paper for the random ideas that flit through my head on a daily basis but on the other i have not worked consistently on a single one of them past that initial 'oh vibe?' moment. maybe one day I'll finish something xdfljfglsdjhf

The first time that Prince Dean Winchester sees the man he is to be wed to, it isn’t in person.

This isn’t unexpected, considering his status. Rather than meeting the man in a tavern, or at the market, and choosing to spend the rest of his life with him, he is informed of his betrothal in a routine meeting with his father and their advisory staff. So when he first sets eyes on his future husband, it is in the portrait of the other prince that Bobby hands across to him with a consoling smile.

Dean had known this day was to come for years now, even if he hadn’t known the exact details. Love matches were uncommon in royalty, and he’d never harboured any illusions that he would be able to form his own. He just wished he’d gotten to meet the guy he was to spend the rest of his life with in-person, before all the stress and formality that would come with their ceremony surrounding their nuptials. But he didn’t exactly get a choice in these things.

The portrait was extremely flattering, but Dean hadn’t expected anything less. Portraits of nobility usually where, the best attributes of the subject brought into the limelight while any less desirable ones were ignored. He’d have no way of knowing how much artistic license had been taken with Castiel’s visage until they formally met, in however many months it took for the wedding arrangements and negotiations to be fully completed. He expected there had to have been _some_ alterations, however.

Because seriously, there’s no way the prince’s eyes are _that_ blue.


	40. Supernatural, Destiel (preslash)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> arranged marriage again

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> we started season 4 today!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 🥰🥰🥰🥰  
> we only watched lazarus rising bc mum had to go to work but i was very excited the entire time and damn near vibrated out of my seat any time cas' presence was felt. my mum was,,,,, concerned. but to quote sky, joy is stored in the cas.  
> today's drabble is a continuation from yesterdays but not a direct continuation bc i actually wrote slightly more yesterday than what i posted but posting something i hadn't written today felt illegal. this is also not all of what I wrote today because genuinely I think i might end up posting this as a oneshot/twoshot eventually it just vibes in my brain

The third time Dean sees Castiel Novak, it is a week before their wedding. The Novak family and a few select nobles had travelled to the Winchester’s palace in advance, in order to ensure the wedding was being held in a manner that was favourable to both kingdoms, and Dean had found himself pushed to the wayside by his family. Because apparently having _some_ say about the circus that would be surrounding him declaring his life to a man he barely knew was too much to ask.

It was this frustration that led him where he was now, standing awkwardly outside the room the maid’s had informed him was Castiel’s. He hesitated for a second, but gave in to his desire and reached out to knock awkwardly on the heavy door.

Castiel was slightly dishevelled when he opened the door, formal clothes a mess and hair rumpled as though he'd been sleeping, and he seemed slightly surprised to see Dean standing outside his room.

“Prince Dean! What brings you to my quarters? Is everything alright?”

Dean flashed the other man a small smile.

“Everything’s fine, Prince Castiel. I was just wondering if you would like to accompany me for a walk in the gardens? I feel as though it may benefit the both of us if we were to become friendly sooner rather than later, considering we are expected to spend the rest of our lives with each other.”

Castiel looked even more surprised at this suggestion, head tilted in his confusion.

“That seems sensible,” He agreed, before glancing down at the clothes he was wearing. “However, I should probably change into a more appropriate outfit first. May we meet in 10 or so minutes?"

Dean's smile widened, inwardly pleased that the other prince hadn't shot down his suggestion that they should make an effort to socialise prior to the wedding, and dipped his head in a respectful nod. 

"Of course! I shall be waiting by the library, come by whenever you are ready."


	41. Supernatural, Destiel

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> post it notes are cute ok

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so uh i wrote this in ao3 bc formatting (less autocorrect) and accidentally reloaded the page because I'm a fuckwit sooooooo :) had to rewrite it :)  
> i know it's not as bad as like. having to rewrite 1k but I'm still mad because I'm not as happy w the vibes this time and also my mental health has been meh today (doesn't help that i accidentally read a mcd fic :/)

> post-it notes, left in various locations for each other to find

**hey babe, thought you'd appreciate not having to eat hospital food for once. lmk if your shift gets extended, bc i might be able to swing heading in an hour late today. benny owes me**

_Sorry that I wasn't able to spend time with you before your shift yesterday, I hope this pie makes up for it <3_

**don't forget to take this jacket to gabes tmrw! still sad i can't make it :/**

_I washed your uniform before leaving, I think I got the smoke stench mostly out! I hope you have an uneventful but enjoyable day :)_

**maybe we'll actually see each other for more than five minutes tomorrow. i hope i didn't wake u up getting into bed last night**

_Our schedules really haven't been kind to us as of late, have they? Eat the salad I packed you as well as the pie._

**honestly, sometimes i feel like i see less of you now than i did b4 we lived together**

_At least I get to wake up wrapped n your arms some mornings, although I do miss going on dates_

**i'm just glad my koala tendencies aren't too offputting in this sweltering heat. and honestly, i'd take being upright in the same vicinity as you for longer than 5 minutes (or not so upright, wink wink)**

_Heat or no heat, I will never protest being held in the arms of my devastatingly handsome boyfriend ;)_

**aww, you think i'm handsome? i'm nothing compared to you (especially with those gorgeous eyes of yours... seriously cannot understand how you hadn't already been swept off your feet when we met)**

_You made me flush in front of Meg yesterday, but I guess that's not the worst thing she's seen from us. She just called us 'sickening'. Have fun with Charlie today! Tell her I miss her almost as much as I miss her favourite handmaiden_

**charlie said she hadn't realised you and dot were so close, and that she hopes your schedule clears up enough to come along again soon**

_Considering I'll believe myself lucky to spend 30 minutes awake with you this month, that may have to wait_

**i know how you feel, but i think our luck may improve soon...**

_Ominous_

**very ;P**

_< 3<3<3 Thanks again for swinging by on my lunch break. And thank Benny for swapping shifts with you Saturday, I can't wait to snuggle up with you and watch reruns of Dr Sexy (no matter how medically inaccurate it is)_

**of course, babe. ily <3 (and if u don't wanna watch it we could reenact it instead...? i'm sure i can find the boots somewhere ;) )**

_I love you too, Dean. (And... I'll consider it <3)_


	42. Supernatural, Destiel

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> yet more musings on sleep (look my brain has very specific vibes it returns to ok)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> my mums gone away for a (covid safe!!! the sits good where i am bc australia) wedding so we shall not watch any new eps for a couple of days 😔😔😔  
> truly tempted to just. rewatch lazarus rising so i can just,,,, stare at cas at the end without feeling like my mum will judge me (i mean she already did tbf so i probs could've). yes i have issues.

It was somewhat strange, the first morning Dean rolled over to find Cas asleep next to him, rather than doing his usual Edward Cullen stare routine.

He’d known it was coming, had for a while now— Cas had sat him down a month or two ago to go through all the changes that would likely occur again now that he was losing his grace for good. Dean had found it a little ridiculous, at the time, as a) it’s not like this is their first rodeo with the whole ‘Cas falling’ thing, and b) he was just, well, turning human. And Dean was, unsurprisingly, very well versed in what it meant to be human, given _he_ _literally was one._

But _knowing_ and _experiencing_ are two very different things, and something about waking up next to the very obvious evidence that Cas was now a ‘full eight hours’ kinda guy made Dean feel. Odd. He just… couldn’t quite wrap his head around everything Cas was giving up, and the sudden reminder that Cas was slowly and surely becoming fully human was somewhat jarring.

But that sorta thinking was a little bit heavy for 7 in the morning, so Dean found himself mentally filing it away for later. Right now, he had a newly-human boyfriend to cuddle.


	43. Supernatural, Destiel, Sam

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> last names are serious business

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i seriously think i will rewatch lazarus rising tmrw lmaooooooo i simply cannot help myself  
> oh also today i ate almost an entire roll of garlic bread by myself (alongside spaghetti) and when my brother came home unexpectedly during his break i panicked and hid what was left of it in my bedroom in shame c,sdjnvfsdjnfb  
> also i only vaguely have a handle on how to write sam which is why this is only the third drabble outta 43 that he's been in (and that's if u include the one where most of his lines were pilfered from canon)

“Cas was, uh. Cas was talking about last names, yesterday. Given he’s human now.”

Sam glanced up from his book before taking a sip of tea, sightly confused by the seemingly random topic of discussion.

“Oh, yeah? Did he have any thoughts about what he’d use?”

“Uh, kinda—”

“Because if he doesn’t know, he could probably stick with Novak. Honour Jimmy, or whatever.”

“He was considering that, but, uh. I had a suggestion that he’s probably gonna go with instead.”

“Dean, if this is your way of telling me that you tricked Cas into taking on a rockstar’s last name, I _will_ be leaving to let him know before he’s procured fake papers, you know that right?”

Dean bit his lip, inexplicably nervous.

“No! No, nothing like that.”

“Then what is it? You’re acting weird, man.”

“I, uh. Isortamaybesuggestedhecouldtakeonourname.”

“ _Woah_ , slow your roll, I barely caught any of that. Come again?”

“I. Well. Suggested he could take on my— _our_ last name. Officially become a Winchester.”

The book Sam had been holding dropped to the ground, and Dean felt kinda glad he’d waited till Sammy was no longer holding his tea to tell him this.

“Holy shit, Dean, are you telling me you _proposed to Cas???”_

Dean flushed, hand coming up to rub the back of his neck while a small smile rose to his face.

“Essentially... yeah.”

The grin that split Sam’s face was positively huge, and a second later Dean found himself wrapped up in a tight embrace that screamed ‘proud younger brother.’ Sam pulled away a moment later, mindful of the boundaries Dean had set up around ‘chick flick moments’, but the smile stayed firmly on his face.

“I’m proud of you, Dean. You both deserve it.”


	44. Supernatural, Destiel

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> bachelor parties are no fun when held seperately

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> look are we shocked that wedding shenanigans are starting to happen. i may not use twitter that much but i sure as fuck have fandom friends that do.  
> did not end up rewatching lazarus rising today as instead i spent my time being very tired :(

Dean tensed slightly as he felt arms wrap around his waist, before relaxing back into the familiar embrace. He’d snuck out of the bar for this, somewhat shocked that their friends had even run the _risk_ of bringing the two bachelor parties so close to each other, less than a street apart. He was almost 100% sure it had been a complete accident on Sammy’s side.

His brother had been determined to pull him and Cas apart for ‘one last hurrah’ when they organised these, spewing off some bullshit about tradition and superstition and other general nonsense which Dean was still pretty sure had been code for ‘I just don’t wanna have to watch you two eye-fucking for _one night_ ’.

And _yeah_ , he’d had fun so far, getting tipsy with everyone and winking at the girls (and one guy) that had hopefully hit at him before informing them he was an almost-married man and they’d better go looking elsewhere.

But still. As great as his friends were, nothing beat _this,_ the warm comfort of Cas’ arms around him, the sweet smell of honey that seemed to follow his angel wherever he went, the slight scratch of stubble where Cas was nosing the side of his neck. He moved his head to capture Cas’ lips in a gentle kiss before turning in Cas’ hold to return the loving embrace. Cas’ blue eyes blinked at him seriously, and Dean couldn’t help but tug him into a firmer kiss, hand threading up into his hair as Cas’ hand slipped up under the back of his shirt. They probably had five more minutes before their friends realised they’d both snuck off, and he was gonna make them count.


	45. Supernatural, Destiel

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> a short snippet of everyones favourite fictional twitter wedding

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> whats this? wedding fluff? whomever would have guessed????  
> obvs yesterday and today's drabble is Purposeful but i actually didn't think abt the fact that it would b 3 (or 4 👀) wedding-related things in a row when i wrote the last names thing. we've just been talking abt weddings and marriage a lot on discord lmao  
> u can imagine them all as occurring in the same verse if u want, but I'm not planning on posting them separately, given they're just disjointed scenes, and I'm also not fully sure on the rest of the verse for this because like. i want everyone to be alive and happy (like obvs heaven wedding is a valid possibility but that means the finale is canon and just. no. i refuse.) but idk how that would occur. i doubt I'm gonna go fill in those gaps any time soon lol. maybe i will for their first anniversary, if I'm still invested in spn this time next year (which is possible as my last proper long term hyperfixation was bnha and i was into that for well over a year with only brief jaunts out, but we dk how this year will go)

Some part of Dean still felt like this wasn’t real. He didn’t know why, given he was standing at a _literal fucking altar_ with Cas, but it was true.

Their friends and found family were gathered in the aisles, more people than Dean would have _ever_ imagined trusting a decade ago, back when he and Cas first met. Sam was a familiar presence behind him, and he smiled at Charlie in her position behind Cas. He met Cas’ eyes again, then grinned when he saw the look of slight concern on his angel’s face. Cas could always read him so well.

He held his hand out for Cas to grasp rather than responding.

The contact was grounding, and Cas squeezed his hand firmly before searching his eyes for some clue. Whatever he saw must’ve satisfied him, as his own smile widened and he nodded to their pastor, prompting him to start the ceremony.

Dean felt the words wash over him. He knew he should be paying attention; this was his _wedding_ for Christ’s sake, but he found himself drowning in the familiar blue of Cas’ eyes. He’d just watch the video back later.

They’d decided to forgo writing their own vows, both unsure of how to sum up the enormity of everything they were to each other in simple words, and Dean was glad for it now. As it was, he could barely pull his jumbled mind together enough to respond ‘I do’ when prompted. Cas seemed to be in a similar state, so absorbed in staring into Dean’s soul and the overwhelming feeling of pure, unadulterated love that surrounded them that he’d almost missed his cue. Some part of Dean suspected he actually would have if Dean hadn’t gone first, judging by the minute shift in his expression when Dean had spoken.

If Dean were a lesser man, he probably would’ve stuck his tongue out at Cas in response, but he suspected that Cas would’ve just called him out on how lost in the moment he _also_ had been. He was tempted to do it anyway, but the pastor’s voice cut through his internal mix of elation and disbelief once again.

He held his husband’s (his _husband’s!!!!)_ eye-line for another moment, matching smiles spread across their faces, before leaning in to seal his future with a kiss.


	46. Supernatural, Destiel

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> the honeymoon :)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i spent like four hours in a vc suffering absolute brainrot w online friends as we all compulsively refreshed twitter and tumblr today. i am exhausted but have no regrets at all. dean and cas are married and it was beautiful and I'm so glad i got to attend.

Despite the amount of focused attention he’d put on trying to organise the wedding in a way where it would run smoothly, Dean had no real opinions on what he and Cas would do for the honeymoon.

“The wedding is stressful because I want to make sure guests won’t spontaneously decide to unleash 10 years of ill will on each other while we’re standing at the altar,” he explained, watching Sam and Cas closely. “The honeymoon is just us, and I trust we’ll be able to handle any issues that crop up. The only thing I wanna avoid is going on a plane.”

“I also do not have particularly strong feelings about where we end up having it,” Cas agreed. “All that really matters to me is that we’re together.”

Dean softened, reaching his hand out to squeeze Cas’ gently, and Sam (who’d taken his best-man duties to mean ‘wedding planner’ and hadn’t been met with any protest at this decision) thunked his head down on the table in exasperation.

“I’ll just book you into some random resort near the beach, I guess, if neither of you are gonna give me guidance on what you’re actually looking for. But you _cannot_ complain if you don’t like where you end up— the most I can promise is ensuring there’s no cases there before I book.”

***

Sam had, unsurprisingly, done exactly what he’d said he would, and a few days after their wedding, Dean and Cas pulled up outside their accommodations for the next fortnight. The resort was far nicer than the hotel’s they tended to stay in for hunts, but not so much so that they’d feel out of place, and Dean grinned at Cas as they checked in to their suite, hands linked between them.

“Sam did a good job picking this place out for us, didn't he, angel?”

Cas smiled at Dean in response, then shifted his hand so their fingers interlaced.

“I didn’t expect anything else.”

***

They headed down to the beach a few hours after checking in— they would’ve gone down earlier, but Dean had wanted to ‘test the bed’ and Cas hadn’t exactly been complaining— and watched the waves together quietly, feet tangled together in the sand. Dean’s head rested on Cas’ shoulder, and both of them had slung an arm around the other's waist.

They weren’t alone on the beach, and noises from the various other resort guests filtered across to them, but a bubble of peace enveloped them anyway.

“I never thought I’d get to have anything like this,” Dean admitted. “Even in that year with Lisa and Ben, I wasn’t… at peace. I felt like I was constantly waiting for the other shoe to drop, like things couldn’t last.”

“And now?” Cas replied, voice gentle.

“Now I trust that if the other shoe ever does drop, you’ll be there to catch it for me.”

Cas shifted his positioning, moving his hands upwards to gently cup Dean’s face. They sat like that for a moment more, staring seriously into each other’s eyes, before Cas leaned in to kiss his husband gently. With his lips, he carried a silent promise, reminiscent of the one they’d made in front of all their friends just days before.

_Always, Dean. Always._


	47. Supernatural, Destiel

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> what u thought their honeymoon was over??

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> legitimately i'm planning on posting 7 honeymoon drabbles, theoretically culminating in me posting a complete honeymoon fic comprised of said drabbles with a few added connecting scenes because i am filled w fluff vibes and desire others who donot like drabble comps to also b filled with these vibes  
> this was gonna be longer but I'm 24 chaps in to a 700 k fic and also i restarted my computer last night without thinking abt the fact that i don't regularly save the word doc i write all of these on my computer in so i had to paste and format like 10 days worth of drabbles back in lol

Dean woke as the morning light hit his eyes, and buried his face in the junction of Cas’ neck with a groan. 

Normally he wouldn’t mind waking up like this, he’d always been an early riser, but normally he hadn’t spent the previous night doing shots with his new husband before stumbling arm in arm back to their temporary bed. Considering the night they had, he wasn’t surprised they’d forgotten about the curtains. 

He knew he wasn’t likely to fall asleep again now, given his track record, but he didn’t exactly want to get up either. If they were home at the bunker, he probably would’ve sucked it up and moved anyway— there was _always_ something to do there, whether it be research for a hunt or general cleaning or just cooking breakfast for whoever was living there at the time. But here, in this resort, all he had to do was be content within the warm embrace of his husband.


	48. Supernatural, Destiel

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> they're m a r r i e d okay

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> we watched more today! 4 eps, the rugaru which is notable bc dean refers to cas as 'cas', the black and white episode which is notable because fucking dracula, the ghost sickness ep which is notable for the lip sync at the end and also deans characterisation throughout the entire ep being amusing as hell, and the Halloween ep which is notable because cas (like specifically the fact that he's starting to show his personality & love for humanity & doubts abt heavens plans) but also just. his existence  
> also i talked to the girl i made friends w at that uni meet up I've talked abt a few times!! i was too nervous to reach out to her because i know i can be a bit overwhelming when i talk abt fandoms I'm in etc and in that state I'm not always the best at reading social cues so i was afraid she wasn't actually vibing w the convo and i'd just missed that fact, but apparently she didn't mind me rambling about supernatural for like 2 hours so that's good :)

When Dean wandered down to the resort’s bar after his shower, he was met by a somewhat surprising sight.

Because there was Castiel, _his_ Castiel, sitting across from a random blonde they didn’t know. And they were _talking._ That… didn’t happen often, given Cas' continued lack of familiarity with a lot of social cues, and seeing him so comfortable with a stranger was odd. And to see the women smiling and leaning in closer to Cas in response made something that felt a lot like jealousy flare up within him.

Now, Dean wasn’t one of _those_ partners. Or he tried not to be, at least. He trusted Cas, trusted him with things far greater than just their sanctity of their new marriage, and he knew his husband wouldn’t cheat on him. That _didn’t_ mean the woman he was talking to would know that, however.

So rather than grabbing a drink before heading to join Cas, as he’d initially been planning, he found himself heading straight towards them.

The blonde was wearing a tight Led Zeppelin tee, and a lifetime ago he probably would have hit on her. As it was, he saw a slimmer of interest rise in her eyes as he approached their table in time to hear Cas clearly state “Yeah, my husband _hates_ flying so we decided staying in the country was best.”

Ah. So she probably wasn’t talking to him with the intention of ending up in his bed, as she didn’t seem surprised about the ‘husband’ bit, but there was always a chance she was just _really_ determined.

So Dean didn’t falter in his stride, even though it probably wasn't _entirely_ necessary for him to stake his claim. He’d spent about 20 minutes separated from his husband due to his shower, after all, and that was just _too damn long_ if you were asking him. He dropped into the booth beside Cas and slung an arm around his shoulders before pressing a soft kiss to his cheek.

“Hey, babe,” he said, winking at the blonde, “Making a friend?”

Cas grinned at him, gummy smile on full display, and it took _all_ of Dean’s self-control to not pull him in for a passionate kiss. They were sitting right across from a relative stranger, after all, and Dean wasn’t exactly looking to put on a show.

“She came over to say hi and I noticed her shirt. I thought you would like it, so I told her about you.”

Okay, so she probably _had_ tried to hit on Cas but had backed off when Cas made it clear he wasn’t an option. Good to know. He just hoped she had more luck with the next attractive man that entered the bar.

“You’re not wrong, it’s a sweet shirt— I’ll make a classic rock fan outta you yet. Does our new friend have a name?”

He directed the question to the blonde, who had seemingly staved off any disappointment she felt at Dean _also_ being taken in order to smile at the two of them softly.

“I’m Katheryn,” she replied, her smile growing as she saw both of them somewhat struggle to look away from each other as she talked. “You guys are really cute together, you know that?”

The smile Dean seemed to constantly wear around Cas widened, and he shifted even closer to Cas as he met her eyes properly for the first time since he entered the bar.

“It took us a long ass time to get here, but what we have now? I wouldn’t change it for the world.”


	49. Supernatural, Destiel

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> you know the deal this week :))))))

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this exists purely because i thought it would be funny as fuck if they ran into someone who knew jimmy while on their honeymoon. like seriously the panick™ they would feel

Dean had been napping comfortably on the beach with Cas’ fingers carding through his hair for about 20 minutes when his husband’s hands stopped rather abruptly.

“Why’d you _stop_?” He whined, well aware he sounded somewhat like a petulant child, and Cas chuckled before continuing his ministrations.

“I don’t mean to alarm you,” Cas said, keeping his voice low, “But a woman has been staring at us for the last 10 minutes or so.”

Dean grumbled slightly and opened his eyes, smiling as found himself squinting up at his husband’s face.

“Like, in a homophobic way? Does she look disgusted? Or is it in a ‘goddammit that really hot guy with the pretty blue eyes is super taken by his equally hot husband and I wish I could get myself a piece of that action’ kinda way?”

“Neither, really. She just looks… almost _confused_.”

Dean sighed before sitting up slowly, giving Cas plenty of time to shift out of the way so they wouldn’t knock heads (which he did, but only _after_ stealing a quick kiss). They rearranged themselves so that Dean’s head was resting on Cas’ shoulder, and he immediately spotted the women Cas had been talking about.

She looked to be about their age, and she kept looking at Cas as though she couldn’t quite believe what she was seeing. Dean waved at her somewhat awkwardly the next time she glanced over, and she flushed before obviously making up her mind about something and walking closer to them.

“I’m sorry, this is probably really weird, it’s just… you look almost _exactly_ like one of my old college buddies. Like, full-on spitting image doppelganger style. It’s… slightly freaky.”

It was only due to literal _years_ of fielding situations a hell of a lot more unexplainable than this one that prevented Cas and Dean from tensing at this revelation. As it was, Cas managed a slightly intrigued sounding ‘Oh?’ while Dean curled himself even closer to Cas, happy to play the part of the tired but loving husband (although it wasn’t exactly a _part)._

“Yeah!” The woman continued. “It was really weird, he kinda fell off the face of the earth a few years ago. He had a wife and a kid and then he just sorta. Disappeared. None of us really know what happened to him.”

“That _is_ strange,” Cas agreed. “What was his name?”

“Oh!” She laughed. “Jimmy— or _James_ technically, I guess— Novak.”

 _Bingo_.

“Well, I hope wherever he ended up, he’s ok,” Cas said, respectfully dipping his head. “What’s your name?”

“I’m Sally,” She replied. “What’s yours?”

“I’m Castiel, and this tired idiot is my husband Dean. We’re on our honeymoon.”

Dean blinked his eyes open again, not having quite realised he’d closed them. He managed another wave, and Sally grinned at them both.

“You seem to have worn him out,” She said with a wink, and Cas chuckled again as Dean made a feeble protest.

“I do my best,” Cas agreed, and Sally laughed again before taking a step back.

“Anyway, I should probably leave you two alone. Sorry for disturbing you!”

Dean and Cas both responded in kind, and when she’d rejoined her group they met eyes.

“Well. That could’ve gone a lot worse.”


	50. Supernatural, Destiel

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> they deserve a break, ok?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ignore that the weather is slightly all over the place in these. in my mind they're in Florida because i want it to b beach weather but i don't think it gets that cold overnight in Florida (i may be wrong though I'm just judging by my experiences as a melbournian ds,jcbfd,ncv)  
> also i was reading back through these and now that i use em dashes all the hyphens annoy me so i made use of my fancy schmancy new keybind (thank god for autohotkey, i just set it up so the numpad minus works as an em dash because the word shortcut uses that minus specifically) and have started to fix that  
> edit: holy shit just realised this is chap 50, wtf how has it been 50 days cv,cdnmvskvjn. exciting achievement!!

Castiel _really_ didn’t love waking up early in the mornings, especially when compared to Dean. When the early morning light hit his face, he was a helluva lot more likely to grumble and roll over in his sleep than to relish in it like Dean tended to. Mornings just... weren’t his thing, and hadn’t been ever since his body started relying on sleep.

Which was part of why Dean knew Cas really, truly loved him. Because there was no way in _hell_ he’d have agreed to getting up this early otherwise, when the sun hadn’t even _started_ to rise.

***

It had been Dean’s idea, of course, that they should watch the sunrise while sitting on the beach at least _one_ of the mornings of their honeymoon. But Cas had agreed to it much more easily than Dean had expected, for all that he seemed to be regretting the decision now.

“You can go back to bed if you _really_ don’t wanna get up,” Dean said, as he pressed a soft kiss to Castiel’s brow. “I appreciate the attempt almost as much as the actual action.”

Cas, who’d looked mortally offended that his husband was trying to drag him out of bed this early _begin_ with, somehow looked even more grumpy after Dean spoke.

“No,” he rumbled, eyes opening blearily. “It sounded… _peaceful_ , when you suggested it. I’m just reluctant to leave the warmth of the bed.”

Dean chuckled.

“Well, I’d say we could bring the duvet with us, but I’m not sure the resort would like that very much. We can snuggle for body heat under a blanket?”

Cas blinked up at Dean seriously, as though he had to consider the offer, and a small smile broke over his lips.

“That seems… acceptable.”

(It was only Dean’s self-preservation instinct that stopped him from leaning in and stealing a kiss right at that moment. If he stole a kiss now, they wouldn’t stop until they where both breathless and the sun was risen, and Dean _really_ didn’t think Cas would let him wake him up this early again.)

(The _slight_ pang of regret he felt at that fact was well and truly forgotten 15 minutes later, when they were snuggled together on the sand, coffees in hand, and he got to see the joy in his husband’s face as brilliant colours filled the sky.)


	51. Supernatural, Destiel

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> :')))))<—me everytime i remember how married dean and cas are

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this is another prime example of 'i came in w a plan and they took too long to get there' lmaoooo. i shall just extend he when i post full honeymoon fic.  
> also i had a close encounter w a huntsman spider on my dining table today. it was not fun. I'm gonna freak everytime one of my cats meows repeatedly now because that's how i discovered it as i was tryna work out what was up with her (normally when she randomly meows she wanders up and down the hallway, but she was just sitting in a chair staring at it. i thought she wanted to b up on the table for food and was blocked by my mums bag but n o she was tryna tell us abt the spider. which like. on one hand i appreciate. on the other please tell someone other than me next time k thanks shads)

Despite the fact that it was a _beach_ honeymoon, they hadn’t actually spent that much time in the water. It was with this fact in mind that Dean had dragged Cas out of bed at lunchtime, waylaying his plans to order room service by promising they’d order something from a café on the way down.

“Come on, I want to have a beach day today, angel.”

“We did spend time on the beach yesterday, did we not? I haven’t lost a day somewhere?”

Dean grinned.

“Well, yeah, but spending time on the beach isn’t _quite_ the same as a beach day. We didn’t even go in the water!”

Cas sighed and let himself be tugged across to where their ransacked suitcases lay on the floor. (There _were_ closets they could’ve put their clothes into, but Dean had declared it ‘too much effort’ on the first day they had arrived and Cas hadn’t felt inclined to disagree. Some habits broke hard, and Dean somewhat doubted he’d _ever_ be able to stay somewhere other than home without feeling the need to be ready to pack up and go in as short a time as possible.)

“Well, I had an enjoyable time reading my book. I don’t see why we should have to swim for it to qualify.”

“Yeah, but this way we get to ogle each other topless in public, slowly apply sunscreen to each other's backs, see each other all wet from the ocean…”

As Dean spoke, he drew his attention away from where he was packing things in a day bag one-handed in order to lean in closer to Cas, till their lips were brushing gently. Cas’ pupils had dilated slightly in response to Dean’s words, and he lingered for a second more before pulling away with a smirk and a shrug.

“Of course, if you really _would_ prefer to read, that’s fine too. I’m sure I can get someone else to help me out with my sunscreen, at least.”

Cas frowned in a way that showed Dean he knew _exactly_ what Dean was pulling here, and was annoyed that it was working.

“I suppose my book can wait until tomorrow,” Cas finally acquiesced, and Dean grinned before leaning in for a proper kiss.

“I love you, babe.”

“And I you.”


	52. Supernatural, Destiel

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> theyre in love and happy but brains can b dumb even on honeymoons

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> last honeymoon drabble! the pieced together fic isn't quite finished bc I've been distracted but I'm planning on spending ten minutes or w/e each day to write something to stick in this fic while i finish it up in the next few days.  
> this was a weird one to write because I've been reading prison fics today (idk i was just in the Mood™) and like. they have a _very_ different vibe to the fluff I've been piling on y'all this week, which explains why it has different vibes to the rest lol

Having no responsibilities, no duties even _remotely_ related to a hunt to do for such a long stretch of time was… disconcerting. A part of Dean wasn’t sure he liked it.

Not that he wasn’t enjoying himself, of course. This time with Cas, the freedom to choose what they would do each day, to talk casually to people who would likely never know the true horrors of the world— it was freeing, in a sense. They didn’t have to worry about keeping up appearances or entrusting too much information to someone who was just as likely to try and kill Cas for his inhuman status as help, about how to best work together to try and take a deadly monster down while planning for whatever big bad had decided that _this_ was the year to come out and play. Instead, they could sip fruity cocktails on the beach, laugh about the fashion choices the people walking by had made, and just... exist in their love, without a care in the world for anything else.

But in some ways, it was making him itchy. Restless. Like things couldn’t hold up how they were.

He still believed what he’d said that first night. Unlike his year with Lisa and Ben, he had no doubts about what would happen when it inevitably did— Cas would stay, with him, support him through it while they ganked whatever they needed to in order to hold on to their stability. Gone where the days of Cas disappearing in a flutter of wings— they had each other, _finally,_ and neither of them were willing to let go.

That _didn’t_ mean Dean didn’t wish this tension hadn’t suddenly overcome him, that he couldn’t just accept that this bubble of comfort he and Cas had eked out for themselves would stay untouched.

He knew Cas could tell something was up. His husband had been staring quietly all day as they walked around town, concern obvious in his eyes, and Dean wasn’t surprised to find himself drawn into a hug as soon as they reached the comfort of their resort room.

“We didn’t have to go out today if you weren’t feeling up to it, honey.”

Dean found himself gripping the back of Cas’ shirt tightly, eyes watering, still somewhat stunned by the easy comfort even after all these months.

“I— I know, angel. I wanted to. I thought it would help bring me out of my thoughts a little.”

“Did it?”

“In some ways. It also reminded me of _why_ I was having weird thoughts, though, so I don’t so if the good outweighed the bad or not.”

Dean felt Cas nod as much as he could while they were still wrapped around each other, and tightened his arms before walking Cas back blindly towards the bed. Later, they would talk over Dean’s worries and Cas would share some of his own so Dean would understand it wasn’t just him that was concerned about these things. Later, they would make a plan for how they wanted to proceed with everything surrounding hunting, what they would do in case of another (albeit unlikely) apocalyptic emergency coming their way, how much they themselves would do to prevent it and how much they would leave to the other hunters. Later, they would do all the practical work to ensuring that if either of them started worrying about these things again, the other would have something solid to point to and say ‘It’s okay, we can handle it, we know what we’ll do if there’s ever a next time’.

But for now, Dean wanted to surround himself with his husband and forget about the world and all its practicalities for a while longer, to remind himself that the future didn't matter, not when he had and would _forever_ have Cas by his side.


	53. Supernatural, Destiel

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> finding motivation can b hard

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so this is definitely pulled from the fact that I've been in a bit of a depressive period lately but today i like. actually got things done on my own merit when left alone. granted one of those things was making dinner and mum would've been mad if i hadn't b u t i also baked (box but still) brownies and cleaned the toilet. baby steps :)  
> (also dw abt me its not anything rly bad i just haven't left the house much recently but also haven't done any virtual meetups w my irl friends as the reason we haven't seen each other isn't entirely covid. like the mini 5 day lockdown we had in melb prevented our planned meet up but we couldn't do a virtual one instead as one of my friends parents are rly strict abt technology use on Sundays which is when we were gonna see each other)

Some days, it’s harder than others.

Dean doesn’t always understand _why_.

Things are good. Things are _great_ , even. They’d gotten Cas back from the empty, Jack was taking breaks from his godly duties to visit them down in the bunker at least once a week, Sam seemed to be thriving in his relationship with Eileen and his goal of digitising all of the bunker’s library.

And most days, Dean was able to recognise that.

But sometimes, it was like his brain… _forgot._ Or ignored it.

In the weeks before pulling Cas out, when Dean’s every waking moment was so utterly consumed by his grief, by the fact that he _hadn’t said it back_ and that Cas had died in front of him, for possibly the last time, had felt so much joy from the simple act of loving Dean— well, he hadn’t had time to stop and think about the future. All he cared about was rescuing Cas, no matter what it took, because a world without him in it wasn’t one worth existing in.

But now that he had that time, he felt… Directionless.

He didn’t want to return to hunting, no matter what that voice in the back of his head said about it being his only worthwhile skill. He’d just gotten Cas back, and he wasn’t about to risk getting offed by some rando vampires in the middle of nowhere now that Cas was human again. There were younger, fitter hunters that could take the helm now.

But even though he wasn’t going to _actively_ listen to it, part of him felt like the voice in the back of his head was right. He wasn’t like Bobby or Sam, he wasn’t patient enough to be a resource for other, newer hunters to come to and ask for advice. He was handy with cars, but didn’t have any actual qualifications to work on them and didn’t exactly know how he’d go getting hired to work as a mechanic. (Also, part of him couldn’t help but feel he would be a disappointment, if he went from literally saving the world to fixing Joe from down the road’s car so that he could get to his mundane office job every day. Castiel had assured him he wouldn’t be, that all he needed to consider was whether or not a job like that would make him happy, but that didn’t stop Dean from thinking it.)

Through everything, though, Cas had been by his side. No matter what mood he woke up in each morning, no matter how much energy he did or did not have, he knew he could rely on Cas’ support. That he would be able to forevermore. That Cas didn’t care if he had a purpose, if he did anything with the rest of his life beyond simply being as happy as he could be. And a lot of the time, that was enough.


	54. Supernatural, Dean, Sam

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Vague angst time

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yeah idk I sat down and this came out  
> I’m literally sitting in my sisters living room and my brain was like ‘angst time!!!!1!1!’  
> Idk what happened off screen but I imagine it’s something to do w cas. Fill in whatever scenario u want.

He knows, even before he sees Sam's face, that somethings gone wrong.

He doesn’t know how. Call it years of his instincts being honed carefully by hunting, teaching him to take note of that prickle when it appeared at the back of his neck. 

He’s just sitting, waiting for updates, dreading the moment he finds out that his instincts are as on point as he expects, that his worst fears will be confirmed. And then Sam walks in. 

Sam doesn’t say anything. He doesn’t have to. All it takes is them meeting each other’s eyes for everything that’s happened while he’s been stuck out here is communicated instantly.

And Dean _shatters_.


	55. Supernatural, Destiel

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> deancas hospital confession :)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so theres a lot more to this but I'm nervous finishing it will take longer than I think (although unlikely, i defs expect to get it posted tonight) so I'm posting the start here lol  
> I'll post the full thing to the series and link it in the endnotes when it's done :)

Dean’s not quite sure how they got here.

The day had started off fairly normally, for them at least. It had been a fairly routine hunt, just a vamps nest, them getting their footing back after the slew of apocalyptic events they’d had to combat in recent times. But something had happened, something had gone _wrong,_ and as he stared up at the ceiling of the dilapidated barn, he found a part of himself wondering if this was where it ended, for him. _Seems fitting, given the most important part of my life began in a barn just like this,_ he thought dazedly, before blackness overcame him and he wasn’t able to think anything more.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [ click here for a handy link straight to the complete fic](https://archiveofourown.org/works/29675196)


	56. Supernatural, Destiel

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> detailed kissing? in _my_ writing?? it's more likely than you think. and also probably terrible. look I'm ace and have kissed a grand total of one person. it was when i was 14 and i didn't enjoy it but didn't know how to tell my boyfriend at the time so it just never happened again and i didn't mentally acknowledge that it was a thing that we did for like 3 years.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> reminder that the full version of yesterdays 'drabble' is officially posted! check the end notes of the chap or the fourth fic in this series to find it :)  
> honeymoon fic is coming. slowly. i took an impromptu trip into a couple of different fandoms today and I'll be taking a slightly less impromptu one into another tomorrow, but given it was weeks ago now that i was like 'dw if i start writing taz drabbles as well i still love spn!!!!1!!!111!!!' and then it took me 0 seconds to forget about taz again, i doubt I'll be writing for any other fandoms any time soon. that being said, I'm planning on seeing if wtnv works as a sleep podcast for me again as i miss it and my current one is losing effectiveness (😔 rip sawbones you served me well. i still love u but my sleep brain does not) so. like. if i randomly stick tfw into nightvale a few times just deal with it. i think it would be funny to see their reactions.  
> anyway this chap is a challenge to me to write a kiss scene that's more detailed than "their lips press together briefly" or _*fades to black*_. i _sorta_ managed it for It that one time in [ Intertwined](https://archiveofourown.org/works/21461593) and that was momentous enough that when i got my best friend to beta for me she literally commented on that fact with no prompting but it's been a year and a bit and I've pretty successfully avoided it since then (although I'm better at casual mentions lol). i'd ramble even more abt why i struggle w them but this an is very long and I'm mostly procrastinating starting however given I've successfully promoed(/re-promoed for forced confessions) two of my fics i figure i can allow myself some leniency.  
> feel free to imagine this takes place after the cut in forced confessions & hospital rooms, as i kept the outside details vague enough that it could rly fit anywhere. sorry if its awkward as fuck sounding lol i genuinely don't know what constitutes as a good kiss and i was mostly trying to avoid any phrases i tend to find cringey when i read them (like 'licked into the other's mouth'— i don't _think_ its just me w that one but if it is i read a fic a few years ago that majorly overused it, lol, and that might b why) but idk how successful i was as some sections of this made me screw up my nose slightly as i read back lol. i'd say i'd challenge myself to write smut next but i project myself onto the chars i write too much and that's just. no. although i could my immortals it and just. 'he put his thingy in deans thigny and they had SEXX. then sam walked in and screamed WAT U DOIN???/?//? **an: he wsa on deamon blud OKAY** '

The first time Cas and Dean kiss, Dean is surprised by how _normal_ it feels.

He isn’t quite sure what he was expecting, honestly. A part of him was worried that it would feel strange, that he wouldn’t enjoy it— that it would somehow make all these feelings inside of him go away, as though the years of devotion and love they’d built between them could be destroyed so easily. Another part of him thought it would be the most amazing first kiss he’d ever had, because how couldn’t it be? It was _Cas,_ and they’d had over a decade of build-up with a pocketful of assorted deaths between them.

And it was momentous, of course, there was no denying that fact, but it was also just. A kiss. A little dry, Cas’ lips chapped and bitten in a way that reminded Dean to add that beeswax chapstick to the grocery list again, and nervous in a way that he hadn’t experienced in _years_ , given 90% of the kisses he experienced came from random hookups who didn’t give a shit (and the occasional demon they were making stupid deals within the course of averting the apocalypse for the 400th time).

They pulled away after a second, staring somewhat anxiously into each other’s eyes, and when it became apparent that the room hadn’t crumbled down around them due to the wrath of some cosmic entity, Dean let out a chuckle.

“That was—”

“Yeah.”

“Wanna… try again?”

Cas licked his lips before nodding, tension obvious in his body, and Dean smiled reassuringly before leaning in again.

This time he let his lips linger, a hand coming up to cradle the back of Cas’ head, and Castiel brought his arms up to wrap around Dean’s body in return. He softened with the kiss, loosening as Dean’s other hand rubbed his back gently, and his mouth parted with a gasp when Dean tugged at his hair.

That was _definitely_ nice, especially as Cas didn’t seem inclined to protest Dean’s choice to take the gap as an invitation, and it wasn’t long before he felt the answering slide of Cas’ tongue against his own. He sucked on it gently and was rewarded by a moan that Cas cut off almost immediately. If they weren’t at risk of being walked in on at any moment, he probably would’ve protested Cas silencing himself, but instead it just served as a reminder that their privacy wasn’t guaranteed.

So Dean consciously slowed the kiss down, pulling himself back until their lips were just brushing gently. His eyes fluttered open, and he couldn’t help but feel pleased when he saw how blown Cas’ had gotten as they kissed. He knew his probably matched, but he a part of him still swelled with pride at the thought that _he_ had been the one to affect Castiel like this, with nothing but his lips.

“I think that counts as a success,” Dean smirked, and Cas grinned brightly in response.

“I dunno,” He teased, voice even lower than usual. “We might need a little more practice.”

“Well, improvement _is_ always possible, and I’m not gonna argue with you showing good work ethic.”

“I plan on us _both_ putting in the time and effort this venture deserves from this point forwards,” Cas declared, before leaning in and connecting their lips once more.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ok most of these i only vaguely care abt feedback for (like i like knowing that people enjoy my writing but idm if i do/don't get much constructive crit or comments in general) but like. any allos or other folks who enjoy kissing, tell me if this seems not gross? Or even just people who can tell that sorta shit even if they personally do not like kissing. i will not b editing this but i will try to apply it to my future writing. this was an interesting exercise that i probably won't be repeating often but i can't always fade to back and i'd like to feel at least semi-confident when i try to write kissing that has more detail. writing this i was like "he... sucked on it gently? that's a thing people do while frenching, right???????"


	57. Supernatural, Dean Winchester, Castiel (destiel mentioned but not the focus)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> parental relationships b hard and messy to navigate even mentally

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hahahahahah i _totally_ haven't been feeling parental angst today, what are u talking about....  
> anyway fuck the cheating bastard that unfortunately gave me half my genes but also he did raise me well for the first 10 years of my life and was. there. for another 4 after that. and sometimes it's hard to reconcile the man that read me the hobbit when i was 7 with the man that walked out on us.  
> dialogue only for. reasons.  
> also i have not reread yesterdays chap yet like i normally do so i cannot update what my thoughts are on it now that it's not fresh in my writing mind 😔

“Cas?”

“Yes, Dean?”

“Is it bad that I still love my father?”

“…”

“Like— I know how he raised me and Sammy wasn’t okay. I’ve known since before I even pulled Sammy back into hunting, if I’m being fully honest, if only because Sam had gotten into fucking _Stanford_ and he couldn’t muster up the ability to say he was proud, even if it wasn’t the direction he wanted Sammy to take. And with everything that happened with Lisa and Ben— I just. I understand more now why it was fucked up.”

“It’s good that you can see that you deserved a more stable upbringing than the one that John Winchester provided you.”

“But like. Even with all of that, I still feel like I want his approval. Even though I know that I don’t _need_ it, that I’m enough on my own and all of that hippy crap you and Sammy force on me constantly, a part of me still craves the feeling that I’ve made him proud, that he cares about me. And the idea that I wouldn’t get it because of shit as basic as me fucking. Embracing that dudes are just as hot as women at times screws with my head.”

“It’s okay if you are struggling to reconcile what you feel about your father now that you are more confident within yourself with the years you spent looking up to him and modelling your behaviour into someone you thought he could be proud of.”

“But shouldn’t it be _easier_ than this? Like, my dad was a homophobic prick who lied about a great number of things to us while leaving us at home whenever he went off on a revenge quest against every supernatural creature in existence. I shouldn’t still feel like I need his acceptance, I’ve stopped the friggin world from ending _multiple_ times and am in a committed relationship with a dude-shaped being that loves me. That should be enough.”

“Knowing your father wasn’t the perfect person you used to pretend he was doesn’t erase the years you spent trying to get him to stick around, nor the relationship you had with him prior to his passing. The fact that it wasn’t a _healthy_ relationship doesn’t mean it was any less important to you, and there are many things you didn’t get a proper chance to try and work out with him due to his death. Although it’s likely you would never have truly been able to work out some of those issues, due to John’s own issues and ingrained beliefs, losing that possibility of change isn’t easy either.”

“Yeah… Yeah. I guess that makes sense. I just— wish I didn’t care so much, sometimes.”

“And that is perfectly okay, as is you caring as much as you do.”

“Thanks, Cas.”

“Always, Dean.”


	58. Supernatural, Destiel

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> ice skating vibes

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I write this on my phone while around friends lmao I apologise 😔😔

Castiel was... surprisingly good at ice skating. Considering Dean highly doubted he’s ever attempted it before, at least. He wasn’t _perfect_ , by any means, wasn’t gonna be in the running for a world record at the Winter Olympics any time soon, but there was a lot less dramatic hand clutching and a lot more stoic determination as he slowly got his balance while pushing around the rink.

It was, nevertheless,  _way_ more friggin’ adorable than a 6 foot angel of lord had any right to be.

Cas seemed confused by that assessment, when Dean brought it up to him.

“I am just trying to retain my balance while skating, Dean, I don’t see how my behaviour is particularly ‘adorable’ in this instance.”

Dean grinned and winked.

“Everything you do is adorable, angel, I’m shocked you haven’t weaponised it into getting whatever you want from me at all times.”

Cas reached out and tugged Dean closer, slightly shaky on his skates but more stable than Dean would’ve expected. Dean melted into the kiss Cas offered, and Cas smirked lightly. 

“I didn’t realise I had to be adorable to get you to do what I wanted to do.”


	59. Supernatural, Destiel

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I. Uh. Got very distracted by reddie today. genuinely if I end up writing a non spn drabble any time soon, it’s probably gonna be about them, because genuinely they’re probably my favourite pairing even when I’m hyperfixated on other fandoms, and it takes almost nothing to pull me back into it. Like at one point I fell back in by reading my own goddamn writing after sending a fic I wrote to a new friend.  
> I didn’t just wanna write for a new fandom in this with no prior warning tho, lol, even tho this is literally just a ‘write every day’ work and not specifically a spn one. Spn is still very dear to my heart and I imagine once me and my mum manage to watch another episode it’ll once again be consuming my every waking moment. In the meantime, if tomorrow/the day after I write an It drabble, y’all spn folks can just skip over it if soft gays from the demon clown movie aren’t ur vibe. but also even if u dislike horror reddie is iconic and y’all should 100% read fanfic for them.  
> today’s drabble exists purely because I was like ‘how can I bring temporary dive into reddie back to destiel.... horror movies ig?’ side note I’m absolutely looking up crossovers later because my only other thought was somehow tfw have to deal w pennywise or the losers become hunters as mike does research and is like oh fuck there are More bad things out there??  
> also I’m ignoring the metatron thing purely bc idk when in the timeline it falls and also how it worked

Dean’s attempts to educate Cas on the wonders of modern television amped up in the wake of them getting together, to absolutely no ones surprise. 

Not only did it give him an excuse to cuddle with Cas on the couch in front of the tv whenever possible, he was _determined_ that he would not be dating anyone who didn’t have a thorough understanding of all the media he referenced on a daily basis. 

He was somewhat disappointed to see Cas was as desensitised to the horror movies they tried as Dean and Sam had been from years of hunting, even though it wasn’t exactly a shock.

“You’re supposed to get scared and cuddle up to me when something freaky comes on screen,” He explained, when Cas was confused by his visible disappointment.

“Dean, even if I _hadn’t_ been hunting with you and Sam for years now, I am an angel of the lord. There isn’t much fictional violence you could show me that would scare me.”

“Yeah, but I like having an excuse to cuddle you when we watch movies together.”

“Do we not do that anyway??”

There was a beat of silence.

“Oh, is this one of those things that you fear undermines your masculinity to some extent? Because if you really need me to, I can pretend to be scared when Sam walks in, even if I doubt he’ll believe it.”

Dean sighs.

“Nah, you’re right. It wouldn’t make sense. You can just glare at him if he looks like he’s gonna make a smart ass comment about us.”

Cas smiled.

“Good. Now get back on this couch and cuddle me while we watch the next movie.”


	60. Supernatural, Destiel (preslash), Sam

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> continuation of enemies to lovers (chap 30)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> literally i'm so tired right now that the only reason i managed to write for spn not It is bc i do not have the energy to manifest richie vibes in my brain rn. I usually just. exist in a way that makes it easy for me to write him but brainfog is not conducive to that. so y'all get a cont of this because i am feeling the bickering vibes that richie & eddie put off and this was the most low key way i could have that.

“Uh— I’m guessing you don’t wanna talk about how the project was today?” Sam asked hesitantly, eying Dean as he huffed into their shared kitchen.

“It was friggin’ wonderful, we’ve officially hit the halfway mark. Which was worthy of a celebration, obviously.”

“Well that’s good— Isn’t it? You seem. Stressed. Did— well. Did Castiel do something again? You could’ve asked about swapping groups at the start of the project, you know.”

“Of _course_ Cas did something! He thrives off being a dick to me!”

Sam sighed.

“What was it this time?”

“He brought in a cake to celebrate the halfway mark!!”

Sam blinked.

“Dude, some people just like cake. You having a preference for pie doesn’t mean this was a personal attack.”

“Sam, we had the pie vs cake debate 2 weeks ago! He voted for pie initially, and the majority of our group agreed!! Literally the _only_ reason he would have for bringing in a cake instead is how vehemently I defended my position when Kevin tried to argue the point.”

“If… you’re sure?”

Dean, who had pulled out what Sam considered his Plotting Notebook™ at this stage and was now flipping through it carefully, paused for a moment to glance up at Sam.

“Oh, I am,” he replied darkly.


	61. Supernatural, Dean Winchester, Castiel

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> a serious convo abt the world

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yeah sorry for the weird vibes on this one, i had a serious conversation with one of my best friends abt how disillusioned our gen is with the world and capitalism and also successfully dissuaded them from a slightly ecofascist mindset (in the 'is humanity even worth saving' way which like. very valid to grapple with as humanity sucks at times b u t it's important to remember that humanity isn't this amorphous whole, it's made up of individuals, many of whom are good and worthwhile and deserve to live happy and full lives even if they are not born yet) and then immediately sat down to write this as I write in the evenings and me and my friend were talking through the late afternoon lol. this is like, a _very_ condensed version of our convo

“Is it weird that I sometimes feel like I haven’t done enough?”

“In what way, Dean?”

“Like. For the world.”

“Dean, you have played a vital role in averting the apocalypse on multiple occasions.”

“Yeah, but. Even with that, there’s just _so much_ death and destruction in the world. Both monstrous and human. And it feels like there’s barely anything we can do to change things.”

“Dean, I know how it feels to know that the are issues in the world that you can’t fix. I myself have struggled with this since coming down to earth, especially in the wake of losing my grace. But it’s important to try and remember that you are just one man. One man that’s had far too much responsibility placed upon his shoulders. You have done far more for humanity than anyone will ever know. It is not your responsibility to fix everything wrong in the world, even if some part of you feels like you should try.”

“Sometimes I feel like everything we achieved was _pointless,_ you know? Because after everything we did to stop everyone that Chuck decided to throw at us for kicks, it feels like humanity is gonna be its own downfall, and there’s nothing we can do to change it.”

“But people are _trying,_ even if it sometimes feels like things are inevitable. Humanity may be struggling, but individuals are trying to correct the mistakes we’ve made in the past and are working towards a better future. You aren’t part of the 1 percent, you aren’t actively making the future worse for everyone else— saving the world we live in from the issues that humanity itself has caused isn’t the responsibility of any one individual, even though there are certainly individuals in positions to enact far more serious change than the likes of you and I could manage. It’s important to remember that.”


	62. Supernatural, Destiel

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Soulmate au cont (chap 20)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’ve decided to try to stick w Destiel for these for at least while I’m in reddie hell for a couple of reasons- one I think it’ll be an interesting way to challenge myself (both in the ‘writing for a fandom that’s not consuming my life’ way and the ‘how long can I keep it up’ way), two I think it’ll be a good way to encourage me to work on my wips for these boys as it’ll be harder for me to come up w random scenarios for them, and three I’m much better at writing longer form reddie content and have less random soft moments in my mind for them (that aren’t connected specifically to a fic at least)  
> So soulmate au today it is :)  
> These scenes probably wouldn’t appear next to each other in the full work but they both were what came out sooo

After the barn, Dean takes some time to process. He’d spent such a long time wondering if he’d get to meet his soulmate, if the demon deal he’d made had fucked with whatever forces were in charge of bringing their paths across each other, and here was this being claiming to be an angel that looked like he’d walked out of all of Dean’s dreams. If it wasn’t for the wings, he’d wonder if Castiel happened to be possessing his _real_ soulmate, but no amount of lateral thinking was explaining that little fact away.

Bobby left him mostly alone, probably assuming Dean was turning the idea of angels and God around in his head before making any decisions about Castiel, so he wasn’t offended by the obvious surprise in the older hunter’s eyes when he _did_ seek him out for a conversation. His shock only doubled at Dean’s revelation. 

“I think- I think Castiel is my soulmate, Bobby.”

That night, Dean doesn’t dream. He’s not sure whether or not it’s a relief.

  
***  
  


“This is kinda a weird question, but... do angels have soulmates?”

“Why would we, Dean? We don’t exactly have souls, and we do not have a need for fulfilling connections the way humans do.”

“Well— can a soulmate connection be _wrong_? One-sided??”

“Soulmate connections are one of Gods greatest gifts to human-kind. He would not do anyone the disservice of giving them a connection that only went one way.”


	63. Supernatural, Destiel

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> resurrectionists cont!! (chap 19)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ok idr if i noted this when i published the first lil bit, but this is a historical au in the sense that I'm taking random historical vibes and setting it in a world without modern technology, but I'm not overly sticking to like. language use at the time or period-typical homophobia, because its a very self-indulgent au. i hope yall don't mind dszfjkncgvdbzl,bvj

As it turns out, Cas is much more socially awkward when he _isn’t_ catching Dean in the middle of a crime. They had arranged to meet and discuss things, as Dean wanted some answers that he hadn’t had time to get while they were lugging a body around, but it wasn’t until Dean saw Castiel in broad daylight that he realised he might be screwed in more ways than just the obvious ‘someone now knows I’m a graverobber’ he’d assumed.

Because, well, Cas’ eyes weren’t the only physically attractive aspect of him.

That being said, Castiel seemed more stilted in their conversation than he had expected.

“So. I gotta know. That thing about you being the dead guy's son. Was that real, or did you just make it up so that you could avoid reasonable suspicion if someone found you by the grave?”

Cas cocked his head, clearly confused.

“That… was true. Why do you ask??”

“Well, beyond the obvious point that most people’s hatred of their parents _doesn’t_ extend to the point where they help a resurrectionist dig up and sell their father’s body… I saw the shovel you brought last night.”

Castiel blinked.

“And?”

“And I thought you might’ve been another resurrectionist planning on selling his body, and used it as a cover so that I didn’t think you were moving in on my ground, or whatever.”

Cas smiled slightly in response, apparently amused.

“While I can understand _why_ you might come to that conclusion, I think you are severely underestimating the hatred I felt for my father prior to his death.”

“Was it not just the med school thing? I assumed it was the med school thing.”

Castiel’s smile widened, and Dean could’ve _sworn_ his eyes flicked to Dean’s lips for a second.

“That… among other things.”


	64. Supernatural, Destiel

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> soulmate au cont (chaps 20 & 62)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sky humbly requested more soulmate au the other day and who am i to deny them that content. this is cas' perspective which I'm less practised at + is set at a nebulous later point (look we haven't been able to watch more yet so I'm still working with full knowledge of only 4 seasons here despite all the spoilers i have for later shit) so sorry if its a lil janky but this section of the story is what was sticking out in my brain today.

When Castiel first started having the dreams, the primary emotion he felt was probably best labelled as confusion.

He knew he’d started to fall, that was obvious by the fact that he was sleeping in the first place, but dreaming was such a _human_ thing to do. A way for their more feeble minds to process the events they experienced on a day to day basis and categorise them as needed. For an _angel_ to be dreaming, even one in the process of falling? Well, it seemed unusual, to say the least.

On top of that, the dreams themselves were very strange. They were muddled and unclear, all centring around a pair of bright green eyes that he associated instinctively with _Dean,_ and they left him with a vague sense of longing when he awoke.

After a week or so with no change, he found himself asking Sam about them

“Well, Cas— Do angels have soulmates? Because that sounds a hell of a lot like the dreams I had in the meetup to meeting Jess for the first time.”

At Sam’s question, Castiel recalled Dean asking the exact same thing, back when they had only met a handful of times. Funny how the brothers could mirror each other so well even unintentionally, although Sam’s question seemed less out of the blue than Dean’s had been.

“As I told your brother when he asked, there’s not really a _point_. They were a gift God bestowed upon humanity to foster connections.”

“Wait— you’re saying _Dean_ asked you about soulmates? Voluntarily?”

Castiel tilted his head, feeling slightly bewildered.

“Well, yes? I hadn’t realised that was strange for him.”

“Castiel, Dean _hates_ talking about soulmates. He won’t even talk about them with _me._ The fact that he asked you about them is… Out of character, to say the least.”

Unwittingly, Cas found his mind flitting back to the image of green eyes that had burned through his mind so strongly, and his instinctive feel that they were Deans, although he shook the thought off immediately.

The dreams were nothing, he was sure. It was just… his minds way of processing falling, the change from angel to human.

Angel’s had no need for soulmates, after all.

(Somehow, Cas managed to ignore the fact that humans _did_.)


	65. Supernatural, Destiel

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> vessel consent issues can b tricky business

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this isn't a continuation of a previously posted drabble but is also not a new idea, aka I'm still in evil clown movie hell not super mega gay hell 😔😔  
> i was gonna wait till i'd seen more to write this idea as it involves jimmy and i wanted to see if he got like. an actual personality. but idk when that's gonna happen + it's not like I write from cas' perspective 90% of the time anyway even if the fic idea would suit it better in some ways.  
> this isn't based on spn lore so like, ignore it if there's been stuff that empirically goes against it in the show lol

“Dean, if we’re pursuing this, we need to have a talk about Jimmy.”

Dean froze, arm half outstretched in preparation to sling around Cas’ shoulders, and blinked at Cas for a second.

“Oh, uh. Yeah. That makes sense.”

Cas looked at him, concerned, and Dean pulled his arm back to scratch the back of his neck awkwardly.

“Are you alright?”

“Yeah! God, yeah, Cas, I’ve been alright since you kissed me yesterday. I just— forget you’re not the only person in your body, sometimes.”

“It may be my vessel, Dean, but this body still belongs to Jimmy. That’s why we need to talk about him, actually.”

“Yeah, I get that. You, uh. Know what I mean. So what’s up? Have you two been talking? Did he tell you he feels uncomfortable with us being together due to the whole wife-and-kids deal he’s got going on? Because I wouldn’t blame him, you know. Might resent him now that I’ve gotten the chance to realise that this thing between us isn’t one-sided, but I wouldn’t blame him.”

“Not… exactly? I don’t know if I’ve talked about this with you before, but despite angels and their vessels not requiring sleep in the traditional sense, the human’s that we possess are still aware and taking in information that their mind’s need to process. This means they go through periods akin to REM sleep, where they aren’t fully conscious of the outside world and the actions the angel possessing them is undertaking.”

Dean nodded.

“That… makes sense, I guess? Is there a point to this, Cas?”

“Jimmy stated that he feels slightly uncomfortable with the idea of us indulging in intimacy while he is conscious, because of the ‘whole wife-and-kids deal’, as you put it, but that he is _not_ against the idea of us engaging in intimacy in general terms.”

“Okay…”

“As he is my vessel, I would like to keep things as comfortable as possible until we find some other solution for how I could obtain a vessel that is wholly my own.”

The idea of Cas looking any different to how he did when they met cut Dean to his core, but he nodded anyway. Cas wasn’t wrong for desiring a body of his own, and Jimmy had a family he needed to get back to.

“Because of this, even if we pursue a formal romantic relationship, we would need to keep our interactions as platonic as possible during the time periods where Jimmy is awake. I know this is a lot to ask of you, so if you wish to postpone things until we have found a solution for me having my own body, then that is understandable, and I will not resent you for the actions that you undertake in the meantime.”

“Cas— _Cas,_ listen to me. I’m— Actually, is Jimmy awake right now?”

Castiel shook his head, and Dean grabbed his hand to pull him in closer.

“I told you yesterday, angel. I’m all in. Shit might be a little, uh, hard for us before we sort you out with a hot new vessel, but we’ll get through it. Anyway, I’d feel like a dick if I was shacking up with someone else for a night knowing I could be having you, even if we can’t act on our relationship a lot of the time. You’re kinda it for me, Cas.”

It wasn’t until he saw the tension leaking out from Cas’ stance that he realised how stressed this whole conversation had been making the angel. A small smile crossed his lips, and Dean couldn’t resist tugging him in for a gentle kiss.

“I’m glad,” Cas admitted, and Dean chuckled softly.

“I am too, honestly.”


	66. Supernatural, Destiel (preslash)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Arranged marriage au (chaps 39 & 40)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yeet more of this because i've been in an arranged marriage mood. tis short bc the next section to write would b their wedding and i couldn't be bothered today (+i hit the wordcount and am gonna write more for an IT oneshot I'm working on anyway)  
> uni starts for me tomorrow officially 👀!! I still need to like. work out where on my unit site i go to access my classes but I'll work it out tomorrow somehow x,vkzdbjfv,.h bfvk

The fourth ( _fifth-sixth-seventh-eighth-ninth—)_ time(s) Dean sees Castiel Novak, they don’t get a chance to talk. Not _really._ They’re all during formal affairs, both their times being taken up way too much by the wedding preparations, and dinners with their assorted families are the closest they get to any real privacy.

But even then, there are expectations. Despite the small amount of familiarity they had formed with each other on their walk, they both knew their mothers would be watching them and that they couldn’t relax in each other’s company the way that Dean so sorely wished they could. He didn’t know Castiel yet, couldn’t tell if he even _wanted_ the chance for anything more than the friendship that would form through the necessity that being bound for life would create, but something within him held hope that their future together was bright.

Only time would tell.


	67. Supernatural, Destiel

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> yet more soulmate au (chaps 20, 62, 64)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sometimes u come out to a group of people who mostly already know and still have a fuckin anxiety attack in the process lmaoooooooooo. also i had my first class of uni today and it was for gender & sexuality studies and it was cool and iconic and I'm very excited for this unit however i found it amusing bc at the end the lecturer reassured us that all the topics introduced would b expanded on in more detail etc so if we felt lost it was fine and me, a queer, was sitting there like: oh this is supposed to b confusing??? (like i know many people don't consider shit like this on a day to day basis and are taking the class to gain better understanding and be a better ally/because they know parts of it but not all, which is iconic and good as well but also it's obvs covering stuff that has touched me personally so its strange to imagine Not having that experience lol)  
> anyway this is short but important :) also ignore that i have 0 concept for how falling worked in canon as usual

As he continued down the path to humanity, Cas found himself... wanting, in ways he never had before. He’d catch Dean’s eyes on a hunt, see him grin in a self-satisfied way, and it opened up a yearning in his slowly forming soul that he didn’t quite know what to do with.

If he had to classify it, he’d probably do so as ‘attraction’, mixed in with his general love for humanity that had always seemed to burn brighter during his interactions with the hunter, even when he was still wholly angel.

He wouldn’t do anything about it, however.

Dean had a soulmate somewhere, and she was waiting for him to crash into her life and uproot it in all the best ways, just as he had Castiel’s. It didn’t matter that he was becoming more and more sure that the individual he was dreaming of each night was Dean— he was an angel, after all.


	68. Supernatural, Destiel

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> if cas can't hug me then he can hug dean at least

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> not me writing this early in order to get it out while it’s still sky’s bday in his timezone even if idk when he reads these. full work linked as usual.

Being in a relationship with Castiel after all these years of friendship was… strange, honestly.

Strange in the _best_ of ways, obviously, but still strange.

They’d both spent so much time denying themselves the things they both obviously wanted that being freely allowed to indulge in their mutual affection for each other was taking some getting used to, and he wasn’t sure how best to remedy that fact.

He felt like absolute shit every time Cas reached for him and his first instinct was to shy away from the touch, even though the angel seemed to understand. And even when he _did_ melt into Cas’ embrace, it didn’t take long for him to pull away, especially if someone else was in the room with them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [ yee yee full fic is here and in the series :)](https://archiveofourown.org/works/29932938)


	69. Supernatural, Destiel

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> cas wears nail polish now sorry i don't make the rules

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yeah idk my brain was a lil blank today (probably because i had to read a whole-ass code of ethics today and it was boring as fuck) so this happened. somehow.  
> it was literally me going 'oh i need to paint my nails again I've been Biting' and then sitting down to write immediately after that thought lol  
> also u can tell I've shifted more into my 'writing for IT' style because I've started capitalising certain words unnecessarily which is something I do when projecting onto Richie while writing lmaoooooooooooo. hopefully it doesn't seem to outta place for Dean's pov.

At some point after things had settled, Castiel started wearing nail polish. Dean couldn’t pinpoint the exact moment it started, having seen it as a relatively unimportant development considering Everything they’d been through in the past few years, but he couldn’t help but smile every time he saw what flash of colour Cas had adorned his fingers with each week.

He’d asked about it once, when Cas had painted them while sitting at the bench as Dean baked. He didn’t mean anything by the question, wasn’t passing a judgement on this new way Castiel had decided to express himself, so he was amused when Cas squinted curiously down at his half-finished nails for a few moments before glancing back up and shrugging in Dean’s direction.

“I guess it just… makes me happy, in some ways. Having my nails painted serves as an indulgence, a reminded that I am allowed to express myself now, in ways I couldn’t before— both during my time as a loyal angel and during the time we spent hunting. They remind me that I am allowed to just _be_ in whatever way I wish too now.”

Dean, who had stopped kneading as Cas explained, found himself leaning over the bench to cup Cas’ face with a floury hand and pull him in for a soft kiss. It had taken them far longer than most would have to reach this place of soft comforts and slow, meandering days, and sometimes Dean liked the reminded that this was what his future would be, as long as he wished it to be so. There was another moment of quiet, and Cas pulled back to continue applying the polish.

“Also, I find it very aesthetically pleasing. That’s why I started, really.”

**Author's Note:**

> comment and kudos and sub if u want as I crave validation,,, i promise that at least some of these will be cohesive and make sense


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